“I’m not sure ‘simply’ is the word I’d use,” I remarked. “That involved a lot of spirit too. And I wonder . . . did she start controlling the dream afterward? Did you inadvertently give her control?”
It was obvious Nina hadn’t thought of that. “I . . . I don’t know. Maybe I did . . . but how else am I supposed to find out where she is?”
“Try talking to her?” I suggested.
She slammed her fist on the wicker armrest. “I have! She won’t see me. This is the only way. Something’s wrong, and we need to find out what. We need to try again. Only next time—”
“Whoa, whoa. There can’t be a next time,” I warned. “You’ll burn yourself out. You’ve done this every day for how long?”
Her gaze grew distant. “I don’t know. Months.”
I winced. No wonder she was losing it. “No more spirit.”
She looked up at me, her gaze pleading. “I have to. Can’t you understand that? Do you know what it’s like to not know what’s happened to someone you care so much about?”
Jill, I thought with a pang. Nina must have seen something in my expression because she suddenly lit up.
“Help me! Help me, Adrian, and together we’ll have enough spirit to overcome her. I can stop doing this every day. I’ll find out what’s happened to her. Please.”
I thought of Sonya’s worries for Nina. Then I thought of Sydney, cautioning me to be careful with spirit. I’d be in enough trouble already if she found out about this burst of spirit use. I slowly shook my head. “I can’t. I shouldn’t have even done this.”
“If we work together, it won’t require as much from either of us,” Nina begged. “Please help me. I’ll help you in return. Is there something you need? Help me find Olive, and I’ll do anything.”
I started to shake my head again, then paused as an idea hit me. “No,” I said, more to myself than her. “No.”
She jumped to her feet. “There is something, isn’t there? Tell me!”
I hesitated, knowing I really shouldn’t be going down this path. But her offer of help had made me think of one thing I did want very badly: getting back to Sydney. “I need to sneak out of Court without anyone knowing. And then I need to make people think I’m still here, back with my mom.”
“Done,” said Nina. “I can do that. Easy.”
“Nina—”
“Look,” she said. “I can help you right now—right this minute—get you out of Court. It’d be an easy compulsion spell. Then you can meet me in a dream to find Olive, wherever you are.”
“That’s nice of you,” I said wearily. “But that’s not going to convince people I’m still living here.”
A mischievous smile crossed her lips. “I can do that too. If your mom’ll let me stay with her. I’ll compel anyone who comes looking for you into thinking they saw you. I’ll make the workers at guest housing think they see you coming and going. No one’ll suspect a thing. Please, Adrian.” She squeezed my hand. “Let’s help each other.”
I took my hand back, unwilling to admit how tempted I was. She was offering me the only shot I had at joining Sydney, something I wanted badly enough to consider ignoring all warnings about spirit use. But how could I subject either of us to more magic? Especially her. It was selfish. “It’s too dangerous,” I told her.
“I don’t care,” she said obstinately. “I’ll just keep trying whether you help me or not. Olive is everything to me.”
And Sydney’s everything to me, I thought. Desperately, I tried to find a way to reconcile the guilt I felt about taking Nina’s help. She’d said she’d keep going after Olive, right? Well . . . if I helped her find Olive and made her stop, it’d result in Nina actually using less spirit. That was a good thing . . . right?
I took a deep breath and looked her squarely in the eyes. “If we try this again . . . let me wield the bulk of the spirit.”
“But we both—”
“We both will,” I said. “And we’re only doing it once—not every day. If I do the heavy lifting once, it won’t affect me as badly. You augment—a little. But that’s it. You can’t keep hurting yourself.”
She reached her hand toward mine again, then drew it back, though her expression had softened. “You do care about me, don’t you? I knew it. Even though you’re married—”
“Nina,” I said firmly. “It’s not like that. I care about you, but I love Sydney. And if we’re going to do this again, we’re doing it my way.”
Her eyes remained dreamy a few moments longer, and then she gave a reluctant nod. “Your way,” she reiterated. “And I really will help you.”
“I’m counting on it,” I admitted. “But hopefully you can pull off what we need using as little spirit as possible.”