I gave her an apologetic smile, told her I’d call her tomorrow, and then let Sean drag me away. We walked for a while in heavy silence, me fixating on Ronan’s reaction if he were to find out, Sean growing visibly more aggravated with each step.
Soon the roaring sound of his silence eclipsed my concern over Ronan discovering my disloyalty, and I pulled us to a halt. “You know, it’s a little weird to be holding someone’s hand when they’re angry with you.”
He arched a brow and glanced down at me. “I’m not angry with you. I’m . . . disappointed in you. There’s a difference.”
“You’re disappointed in me?” I asked, a pang of guilt seizing my chest. This day had gone from simple to complicated at an alarming rate. I’d woken up with a sturdy sense of self and a plan to give Sean a blow job. Just a blow job. An exercise in delayed gratification. A simple, impersonal lesson.
Now look where we were.
So much for well-laid plans.
Sean turned to face me. “Yes, Lucy, I am. Tell me, how is it that a girl with wild rainbow hair and such a fun, carefree spirit could care so much about what other people think?”
“You know why.” I stared at the ground because his gaze was too heavy for me to hold.
I felt him studying me as his hand came up to cup one of my cheeks. Finally, he let out a long sigh and said, “I’ll let you have it your way this time.”
His words multiplied my confusion, because as far we’d agreed, no one was ever supposed to find out about us. He told me himself he’d make sure Ronan never discovered what was happening.
The scary, inconvenient feelings that I didn’t want to think about flared more powerful than before.
I liked Sean Cassidy. I liked him with something more than just my vagina.
Giving him a barely there nod, I suggested, “There’s a really good hot dog kiosk nearby, if you’re still hungry, that is.”
His brow furrowed. “I thought you were a vegetarian?”
Thankful for the change in subject, I decided to run with it. “Only when I’m detoxing, the rest of the time I eat meat. Do you know how much we could reduce environmental damage if we all had one vegetarian day per week?”
“I didn’t, but thank you for informing me,” he said. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.
“You should consider taking part in World Meat Free Day this year.” I nudged him encouragingly with my elbow. “I’m doing it, and so is Rick.”
“You can’t maintain a physique like mine by surviving on chickpeas,” Sean replied. “Now come on, let’s go get some street meat for dinner. You really do know how to treat a man.”
“Oh, don’t be such a snob,” I chided, laughing, and led him in the direction of the kiosk.
Along the way I spotted a guy playing Frisbee with his dog in the park. Pulling out my phone, I snapped a few shots. Sean arched a questioning brow in my direction, so I explained, “Taking pictures of animals is a hobby of mine. I’ve been collecting them for a while now. I’m actually hoping to set up a blog. Instead of Humans of New York, it could be Animals of New York. Or something like that. I don’t know. Maybe it’s silly.”
“I don’t think it’s silly,” said Sean warmly. “I think it’s a great idea. Plus, if the millions of views videos of kittens get on YouTube is anything to go by, there’s certainly a market for it.”
I shrugged, bashful but pleased he hadn’t thought it a stupid idea. When I’d told Mam about it she’d laughed and said I was just trying to find another way not to have a real job.
“I thought I could pair stories with the pictures, too,” I went on. “At the animal shelter we always get dogs coming in with tales of abandonment or how they’ve been left to fend for themselves. I feel like people need to hear their stories.”
Sean nodded enthusiastically. “And if these dogs get adopted into homes, you know, rehabilitated, you could add that, too. Give the story a happy ending.”
I smiled widely, taken aback by his suggestion. “That’s a lovely idea. Anyone might think you have a soft heart under all that muscle and brawn, Sean Cassidy,” I teased.
He lifted a shoulder. “I just like a good underdog story, that’s all. Every stray deserves a chance at love.” He stared at me a moment, and I was captured by the sincerity in his gaze. After a second, he grew self-conscious. “And you know, a home, a warm bed to sleep in at night.”
“You’re right. No dog, or person for that matter, should ever be left out in the cold.”
Right after I said it, Sean seemed to still, like I’d just said something that resonated with him. The intensity coming from him was almost too much, so I decided to move the conversation along.