Therapy was a work in progress. Sure, it took a whole lot of convincing on Ronan’s part to finally get her to see the light, but in the end she’d agreed to join me for a few sessions. A few sessions turned into every session, and I’m not gonna lie, in the beginning it had been rough. We had a lifetime’s worth of issues to get through, after all.
The first day I stepped into Dr. Hollyfield’s office he’d told me about a little thing called the phone test. If a certain person calls you and you just can’t bear to pick up and talk to them, then they’re probably toxic and you should cut them from your life. If it’s a person you can’t cut from your life, then you need to find a new approach to dealing with them.
“What if he doesn’t like me?” Mam asked. “Or what if we can’t think of anything to talk about?”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” I answered. “Look at you, you’re a catch. Plus, we both know you can talk for Ireland, so don’t give me that.”
She wiggled her head and gave me a small grin. “If you say so.”
In the case of Mam and me, I started to realize that no matter how much she nagged or how many times she commented on my appearance, there was nothing she could really do stop me living my life how I wanted. She could say whatever she liked, I’d still dye my hair whatever color I chose, date who I wanted to date, and wear the clothes I liked wearing.
As we delved deeper into our issues, we had a lot of breakthroughs. I learned about her insecurities that stemmed back to her relationship with my dad and how his family had shunned her. He’d later died tragically, leaving her feeling helpless and alone. All these things hardened her, but now she was seeing Dr. Hollyfield on her own as well as during our sessions.
“I do say so. Now go glam yourself up. This guy doesn’t know what’s about to hit him.”
Now she laughed, a blush coloring her cheeks that was almost girlish. “He’s a builder, you know. Works with his hands…”
“Okay, stop right there. I can give you as many pep talks as you need, but I really don’t want to know anything about his hands and what he does with them.”
She rolled her eyes at me. Yes, that’s right, my own mother rolled her eyes – at me. I thought I was supposed to be the kid here. “Fine. I’ll say no more. Give my love to Ronan and Annie when you see them. Tell them I miss them and can’t wait for them to come home next week.”
“I will, Mam. Enjoy your date. I’ll call you tomorrow for all the details.”
“Looking forward to it.” She paused, her smile growing a little watery before adding, “I love you, Lucy.”
I returned her smile and her sincerity. “Love you, too.”
Hanging up, I reflected on how things had changed. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but she was happier. I was happier. I was beginning to look forward to her phone calls and that felt like a flippin’ miracle!
Oh yes, and I hadn’t stolen a single thing in over two years. I didn’t even take the complimentary slippers and toiletries when I stayed in hotels. I was a whole new woman.
I slid my phone back in my bag and continued on my way, hoping I wasn’t going to be late. Ronan and Annie were in New York all week for business meetings and I was supposed to be having dinner with them at Tom’s restaurant.
Whenever my brother and his wife came to visit there was no keeping them away from Tom’s. Annie was absolutely crazy about the food there. She even said herself that she’d sell the soul of her firstborn child for the secret recipe to his pecan pie.
Rounding the corner to the restaurant, I glanced in the window to see them sitting in a booth. Ronan had his arm around Annie as he affectionately placed a kiss on her temple. My heart ached as I watched them, so in love, because it made me miss Sean even more than I already did.
Unfortunately, it was going on three weeks now that I hadn’t seen him, and though video chat was a godsend, it just wasn’t the same as seeing him in person. There were so many nights that I found myself hugging my pillow, wishing it was him. And don’t even get me started on cyber-sex. We’d become quite adept at it, both desperate for each other but separated by an entire ocean.
With a heavy sigh, I opened the door and was instantly hit with the mouth-watering aroma of Tom’s red wine gravy. There was just something about his food that always smelled like home, and I felt a little less heartsick as I stepped inside.
Ronan lifted his hand when he saw me come in, waving me over, and I began shrugging out of my jacket as I slid into the booth on the other side of them.
“Hey you two! God, I’m starving,” I said as I settled into the seat. “I’ve been chasing after that new Australian singer all day, trying to get pictures for the blog. You know the one who sings that song they keep playing on repeat everywhere? Plus I had a shift at the animal shelter this morning and they just rescued ten puppies, none of which wanted a bath.”
“Hi Lucy,” said Annie, biting her lip, for some reason not commenting on what I’d just said.