The Perfect Homecoming (Pine River #3)

They stopped at a steakhouse in Abilene and watched Derek eat two steaks, then drove on, to Midland. When Derek was checked in, Cooper waited for his mother at the car so she could make sure Derek would be okay inside. The plan was to return on Christmas day for what Cooper’s mother said was “Christmas with presents.”


On Christmas Eve, Cooper rattled around his boyhood home, fixing things for his mom. But they were little jobs, and there was not enough to occupy his thoughts. While his mother kept up a steady stream of Derek talk—where he could get a job, how he could meet some girls, her sincere hope that he wouldn’t keep smoking, etc.—Cooper thought about Emma. He thought about the first time he’d met her, and the day she’d stood on the Kendricks’ porch looking so beautiful. About their lovemaking and how forlorn she’d looked when she told him she’d disappoint him, so certain of it.

It was frustrating enough to make a man want to put a fist through a wall.

But then Cooper would tune in to what his mother was saying, all the hopes she still held for Derek, and Cooper knew that Emma could never disappoint him as she believed she could. That was impossible; Cooper had scraped the bottom of his trough of disappointment with Derek.

On Christmas Day, Derek appeared at the door of the halfway house dressed in the Dockers and button-down plaid shirt their mother had bought him. She was very happy with his appearance and gushed over him, telling him how handsome he was. Derek smiled thinly at her.

He sat through church with one leg bouncing, glancing around. Cooper couldn’t help but notice he was checking out the women at the service. Their mother, seated on the other side of Derek, smiled and sang the hymns louder than anyone.

She was so happy, truly happy, and Cooper’s heart bled for her.

He didn’t know when exactly they had ceased to be a family, or the precise moment their choices in life—Derek’s crimes, Cooper’s leaving Texas—had splintered them apart. His mother desperately wanted to put them back together again, but Cooper knew it would never happen, not in the way she dreamed. He knew even before Derek coaxed him outside of the Chinese restaurant after church what he would say.

Derek dragged on a smoke and said, “Listen. You’re going to have to watch after Mom. I’m not sticking around.”

Cooper bristled. Like he hadn’t been looking after their mother all the years Derek had been running from the law or was incarcerated. Like he hadn’t been the one who was there when their father had died of lung cancer.

“You don’t look surprised,” Derek said, eyeing him.

“Nope.”

Derek laughed. “You could always read me pretty well. But I can read you, too, Coop, and you know what? I can see you’re relieved I’m moving on. I think you’re glad you don’t have to deal with it.”

Cooper was mildly surprised. “I guess you do read me pretty well,” he said. “Okay, I’ll own it. I just don’t want you to drag Mom through the wringer.”

“It’s bound to happen if I stick around,” Derek agreed, and drew on the cigarette.

“I didn’t say that,” Cooper said. “I don’t believe that. You could choose to make it the right way, you know. You could choose to get a job in the oil fields and a girl, like you said. You could choose to make up all these years to Mom.”

Derek laughed at him. “When did you get so soft? I can’t change, Cooper. Anyone who says I can hasn’t walked in my shoes. I’m forty-two years old. I’ve been in and out of the system since I was fourteen. I ain’t changing, bro, and if I stick around, I’m just going to disappoint her. I don’t want to do that. Mom’s been through enough. So, best that I move on.” He tossed down the smoke and ground it out with his heel.

Any other time, Cooper might have tried to talk him out of that belief, but Derek’s words struck too close to what Emma had said to him, and it made Cooper angry. “Just curious . . . do you still have the St. Christopher medal Grandpa gave us?”

“Huh? No, man,” Derek said, and laughed. He suddenly threw his arms around Cooper, giving him a big hug. “You be good, bro,” he said, and patted Cooper’s cheek before strolling back inside, beneath the green tinsel, to the table where their mother was sitting, waiting on their meal to be served.

Cooper would later think about how angry he’d been that day. How frustrated he was with the excuses Derek had been using for years, but mostly, how angry he’d been with Emma. She was using the same excuse as Derek and was going to rely on it—just like Derek. She was going to let her life spiral out into loneliness and isolation because, like Derek, she was too afraid to try something different.