I looked towards the ceiling, exhaustion settling in my bones. Cane and I had been going over numbers, looking at the bid from every possible angle, since before 5 AM. We would have to wait on the last few numbers to come in from routine suppliers right before the bid was due, but we were pretty much done. Our number looked solid.
I’d been up late the night before. Kari had finally calmed down after a long bath. I found her in bed, the look of uncertainty in her eyes that I saw on occasion. She was wrapped in her robe, lying on top of the blankets. It was like she was afraid to get comfortable.
Although I had a million things to do, I stretched out beside her and held her. I learned over time when that look was in her eyes, she wasn’t going to talk. It was a moot point to even try. But holding her seemed to quell whatever was going on . . . and the reason was still, after all this time, beyond me.
I held her until she finally fell asleep and then I crept out of the bedroom and down to my office and worked on the bid until early in the morning. I was running on a couple of hours sleep.
“I don’t wanna jinx us or anything, but I think you’re right. I think we got this one,” I replied.
Cane let out a breath, rolling up his sleeves. “I’m going to grab some more coffee and check on a few things. I’ll be back in here around ten and we can put the final touches on it before we submit.”
“Sounds good.” I rose with Cane and headed to my office. I needed to clear my head. The last couple of hours before a bid submission were stressful, numbers coming in this way and that, and I needed to be able to think. It would all come down to the final minutes and I couldn’t have my head clouded.
As soon as I sat down, Sam appeared. She wore a light blue dress that buttoned all the way up the front and had large hoop earrings in. She looked young and pretty and confident . . . and I wished for a second that her life would’ve played out differently. That she was as confident and unbroken as she let on.
But I fucked that all up for her.
“Hey, Max,” she smiled. “I’ve been collecting the quotes that come across the fax.” She waved a handful of papers in the air. “Do you want them or should I give them to Cane?”
“I’ll take them. Did we get a final quote from Grady?”
She took a few steps and sat them on my desk. “Yup, it’s right there on top,” she said, tapping her fingertips on the top sheet. “I was watching for it because I knew you were waiting on it.” She took a couple of steps back and looked at me curiously. “You okay?”
I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging a bit. “Yeah,” I muttered. “I’ll be better when this bid is over with.”
“You’ve worked so hard on it. That number from Grady is supposed to be your golden ticket, right?”
I laughed. “I sure hope so. We need to get this bid and get back to normal. I’m about at my wit’s end.”
She perched on the edge of the chair across from me. “I know you’re stressed and I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t mean to start trouble with Kari, you know.”
“I know. But you really do have to start thinking more, Sam. This isn’t you and me, friends from way back. I have a life now with a woman that I love more than anything. I want to marry that girl, have a family with her.” The look on Sam’s face fell and I could tell there was something she wasn’t saying. “What?”
“Nothing.”
I heaved out a breath, ready for this day to be over with. “Look, if we get this job, I might not be able to justify keeping you around. Cane is letting it slide right now because he knows I’m stressed out. But once the estimating work eases up, it’s gonna be harder for me to explain to him why I need you.”
Her lips upturned, but didn’t reach her eyes. “I understand. I knew this wasn’t a forever thing, so no worries.” She stood up and smoothed out her dress. “Hey, I found some things of Kari’s last night in the attic. I think she’ll want them. Do you want to take them home with you?”
“Like shirts? Files? Pictures? What?”
“Some papers.”
“Just give them to me before I go home.”
MAX
Sam and I stood at the back of the cold, white room, waiting for the bids to be read off by the bald City employee at the front of the room. I scanned the area, taking in the competition. The room was packed, more contractors than we even expected had put a bid in on the project.
The man at the front introduced himself and began opening envelopes. One by one, the bids were read off, each one higher than ours. With every number that was read, my hopes went up.
“Lytrell Construction—$7,659,870.84.” Brian Lytrell smiled widely, knowing he was now the lowest bidder.
“Alexander Industries—$7,590,430.00.”
I released a breath slowly and tried not to get my hopes up. We were the low bidder, but there was one bid left to be read.
I forced a swallow and made eye contact with Brian. He gave me a little nod and I smiled tightly. We both knew it looked good, but you shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatched. Two seconds before, Brian was the low bidder. Now I was. In another two seconds, it could be someone else.