“‘Everything is toxic; it is the dose that makes a thing a poison,’” Miro said. “I think that was it.”
“I think he knew he was onto the biggest secret of all. There’s so little we understand about essence. It gives objects incredible properties. It can bring the dead back to life. Elixir can be made from essence, turning a deadly substance into something that gives longevity and powers of rejuvenation. I think that’s the first hint we should have had that the history of the Evermen was tied to essence.”
“You . . . you’re like Killian now?”
“Yes,” Ella said simply. “Killian and I defeated Sentar Scythran together. In the end, I wonder if he didn’t let himself die. The knowledge that he wasn’t a god must have been the most painful blow of all. Yet, for a change,” she grinned again, “this is something I can’t explain. Aldrik, one of the Dain’s necromancers, tainted the Akari’s essence. I didn’t even know essence could be tainted, and I became sick.” Ella grew serious. “So sick. The pain was . . . it was terrible. I knew I was going to die. When I destroyed Sentar’s supply of essence, I fell into the sea, and some of that essence was mixed up with the seawater.”
“Ella was affected by essence poisoning,” Amber said. “They took her back to the palace, and everyone thought she was going to die.”
“I dreamt,” Ella said. “Evrin came to me, and he told me I had to fight. But it wasn’t fighting that brought me back, it was thinking of you two, and everyone else I loved. There was . . . a light. It was beautiful. But I made a decision. It wasn’t yet my time.”
Miro spoke slowly, struggling with the words. “I have heard of this,” he said, “from soldiers who’ve been close to death but survived. The mind struggles to make sense of the changes to the body and invents gods and demons, tunnels and lights.”
“That’s what I would have said before it happened to me,” Ella said. “But now I don’t feel so sure. I know the Evermen weren’t gods, and the stories of flying through the clouds, healing the sick and bringing people back to life come from those who struggled to make sense of their powers. But long ago, Layla told me about the Eternal, who works to keep balance in the world. I don’t know if there’s an Eternal, but there’s something out there, and it enabled me to survive.”
Miro and Amber exchanged glances.
“I have to say, Ella. That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Ella said.
“I’ll reserve judgment,” said Miro. “And please don’t fault me if I continue to believe the things I see with my own eyes.”
“I won’t.” Ella smiled.
“Where’s Killian?” Amber asked.
“He’s setting the city to rights, helping the wounded get attention, hunting down wandering revenants.”
“Have you spoken?” Miro asked.
“There’s still a lot to do. He’s the emperor and he takes his responsibilities seriously.”
“He does,” Miro said, “but that doesn’t mean the two of you don’t need to talk.”
Ella stared out the window, as if unwilling to meet Miro’s eyes.
“I still can’t believe it,” Miro said. “Your hair . . . your eyes. Does this mean anyone can become like you now?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Ella said. “If someone’s willing to go through what I did, then perhaps they deserve their reward. It’s not like there was any logic to it. If I hadn’t been affected by the tainted essence, would I have survived essence poisoning? What effect did the seawater have, and how much essence was in it? I just have to trust that these things worked out for a reason.”
“Now that really doesn’t sound like you,” Miro said.
“Do you remember when you’d started training at the Pens, you used to come home with bruises from the other boys?”
Miro frowned. “I remember.”
“You told me that sometimes there’s no other way but to fight. Do you remember that?”
“I do.”
“See?” Ella said. “It’s me.”
“Of course it’s you,” Amber said, pulling Ella into a quick embrace.
“Ella,” Miro said, “will you talk to Killian?”
Ella stood, ignoring Miro’s question. “I need to go and see if there’s any news about Rogan. Before I go, can you tell me something?”
“What is it?” Miro said.
“The alchemist, Tungawa. Was he old, with a high forehead and crinkles around his eyes, and did he wear a black robe with a triangle bound by a double circle?”
Miro and Amber both nodded.
“Think on this,” Ella said. “I saw the alchemist when I dreamt. If they were just visions invented by my mind, then how did I know that, if neither of you told me?”
Ella smiled and exited the chamber, leaving Miro and Amber open mouthed.
67
Another day of waiting for news of Rogan passed, another day of setting the city to rights.
Ella sat on her bed holding a note in her hands. The paper was heavy and edged with gold. Her hands shook and her heart raced, thudding in her ears with a steady beat.