My breathing quickens, my nostrils flaring to allow the harsh breathing to escape. In a fit of anger, I grab the picture of me and Lip that someone took of us when he first brought me to the club and throw it at the door. The glass on the frame shatters, and it splits in two before falling every which way. I’ve waited for his ass for six years. SIX FUCKING YEARS, and this is what I get when he comes back?
He won’t even tell me why he went to prison. Club rule. If it’s club business, it’s none of the ol’ ladies’ business, meaning none of my business. The time I spent with Lip before he went to prison, he was sweet and would spend every minute of the day he could with me. Most of those tangled in sheets, screwing my brains out, telling me how perfect I was. Sometimes it was as if it were too good to be true. But since he’s been out of prison… I haven’t seen that man. Prison changes people; that’s what I was told over and over by the girls at the club. I refused to believe it … until Lip got out. He went in a sensual man, but he came out something darker than the caverns of Hell. He’s not Lip. When I look in his eyes, I see secrets, I see … something unfamiliar.
I blow out an irritated breath and look at the clock.
7:00 AM
“Shit.” I hurry into the room and pull on a black tank top with a white skull printed on the front, and shimmy on some shorts. I can’t say anything about Lip having secrets… ‘cause I have one. A big one.
One that is six years old and looks just like me, and I still haven’t told him about her. How can I?
***
Sitting in my car, I watch the little girl with strawberry-blonde hair trot down the stairs of her house. She’s wearing the clothes I gave her yesterday: a green skirt and a white top with a watermelon on it. Her father is a fucking douchebag. He had her in clothes two sizes too big again, and they were boy clothes at that. I’ve wanted to tell Lip about her so many times over the years, but I just couldn’t. I was going to tell him about her, but I couldn’t while he was locked up. I should tell him now, but it doesn’t seem like the right time. I groan in frustration.
I drive to the trailer park, thoughts of Lip and Piper filling my head. Over the years, I came often during the week to see Piper; of course, it was in the morning after Eric left for work. I would see her off to school, and to see her grow over the years is a bittersweet moment. I bought a book about lawyering, trying to figure out a way around whatever I’m in, but I can’t even read the first fucking chapter with so many legal terms. I pull up to the gas station across from the trailer park and turn the car off. I hate this fucking trailer park. I will not leave my daughter here to grow up. I will figure something out. But that’s just it, I gotta figure it out, be smarter than Eric and that piss-brain judge. It’s risky showing up here, I know, but I can’t stay away. I’m her mother, and Eric obviously is not taking care of her like he should.
She looks up and spots me, her cute little freckled face beaming with energy.
I can’t help but smile and climb out of my red bug.
“Hey there, Piper! You look beautiful today.” She looks down at herself and smiles a toothless grin. “Did you lose a tooth?”
She touches the empty spot in her mouth and nods.
“It came out last night,” she slurs. I laugh, but a piece of me breaks. I should have been there to place her tooth under her pillow with her. I rest my hands on my hips and lift my head to the sky, trying to draw strength from the gods.
“Are you okay, Cherry?”
I blow out an emotional breath and muster a smile.
“Mmhmm. What did your dad say about the clothes?” I bite my lip, nervous.
Piper’s light of innocence fades into something sad. She shrugs, kicking the rocks in front of her.
“He didn’t even notice. He was drunk last night, and was passed out in his puke this morning.” I grind my teeth. I should kill him. I should take Piper and just run, goddamn it.
“Wait, is he home right now?” My body goes stiff.
“Yeah, but he’s passed –”
“I gotta go.” I give her a kiss on the forehead and turn to leave. The hair on my neck is raised in alarm, heart slamming against my chest in fear. He can’t know I’m here, that I’m alive.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” she yells. I turn my head and look over my shoulder. I try to see her every day before school, sometimes after. It’s hard because she’s not supposed to know about me. She doesn’t know me, actually. She knows Cherry… the biker lady who saved her from bullies and became her best friend. I’m all she has.
“Yes, I’ll be here.”
I climb in my car and peel out of the trailer park before Eric sees me.