‘The answer’s obvious, isn’t it? I don’t really want him in prison: I want him dead. I want him to suffer. And what you’re really asking me is whether I wanna head down that road. Well, I’m not sure I do, but what’s the alternative?’
‘Get on with your life. Not here, maybe, but somewhere.’
She shook her head slowly and said, ‘I can’t. It’s eating away at me. Sometimes it even makes me feel sick, like I need to throw up. I just know I’ll never rest until I find Ben’s killers. I can’t.’ It could have been a slip but equally, he could imagine how her focus had narrowed to avenging her brother’s death, a death she’d probably never made provision for.
‘Okay. Where are you going?’
‘I’ve booked into the Savoy.’ She laughed, he supposed at her own extravagance. ‘It’s just until I sort out somewhere permanent. I want to get settled in there before telling Simon. He’ll want me to go back to his place otherwise, and I need to look after myself.’
‘Give me your mobile number.’ She looked shocked by his abruptness, but wrote it down on a piece of paper. ‘I’ll be in touch as soon as I know something. In the meantime, you can still call me on the usual number.’
‘How long do you think it might be, before you’re in touch?’
‘It could be soon. The Savoy’s a nice place. Relax, look for a house. I’ll call.’
‘Okay. And thanks.’
‘Did you tell the police about me?’
For a second she looked baffled by the question but said, ‘No. I mean, yes, that you existed, but we agreed to say we didn’t know your name or where your house was.’ He was relieved.
‘That’s good. One more question. I need to ask Chris a few things, just about what he might have seen, stuff like that. What room is he in?’
As if breaking bad news, she said, ‘Chris and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.’
‘I gathered. I still need to talk to him.’
‘Langford, B15. I can show you where it is.’
‘I’ll find it.’ He stood up and said, ‘Take care. I’ll be in touch.’
It was only as he was walking back across the quad that he thought of all the things he should have said—that he was sorry she and Chris had broken up, that he wanted to be there for her, that she was a good person and deserved better than this. She also deserved better than him, and her willingness to subject herself to the awkwardness of his company said something about how desperate she was.
Langford was a more relaxed, more open place. A couple of people said hi to him as he walked along the corridor and most of the doors were open, the mix of music melding in the corridor into some kind of progressive jazz rock.
Chris’s door was open. He was sitting at his desk working. Lucas stepped into the room a little and knocked. Chris looked up and jumped nervously before regaining his composure.
‘Can I come in?’
‘Jesus! Uh, yeah, sure.’ He gestured him in and Lucas sat on the edge of the bed.
‘I need to ask you something and I need the truth. Did you tell the police about me?’
Before he could say anything else, Chris turned contrite and said, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to, but they kept saying, “You’re sure you didn’t hear his name?” And you didn’t tell us we had to keep it secret, just that it would be better.’
‘I know. It’s not a problem.’ If anything, he was pleased because it had been Chris; if someone else had given his identity to the police it might have been something to worry about.
‘It didn’t make things difficult for you?’
He shrugged and said, ‘I had a courtesy call, but it’s not in their interest to come after someone like me. You’ve probably made things worse for Ella, though.’ Chris looked confused. ‘Think about it. She stuck with what you agreed, so the police probably think she’s a liar, that she knows more than she’s saying about everything.’
‘Yeah. Look, I’m sorry about that . . .’ He stopped himself and said, ‘Are you working for her? Is that why you’re here?’
‘I’m helping her through a tough time, that’s all.’
Chris shifted in his seat, his voice finding a higher pitch. ‘Look, it’s easy to think I’ve been a bastard here but, Jesus, we were only going out. There’s married couples would split up after something like that happened to them. And I’m twenty. I’m too young to get tied into a relationship that intense.’
‘I agree.’
He was surprised, and his voice was more relaxed when he finally said, ‘That’s not the only reason I bailed, though. I mean, it’s easy to think I’m the cold one but she’s freezing up inside. I tried to get through to her over the summer, I really did, but she turned her back on me first. She’s become so obsessed with finding the culprits, she’s losing sight of what’s around her, other people.’