The tape rolled, and the image shimmied and dipped. The picture stopped bucking, and Dad came into the frame and sat in his recliner in front of the camera. I inhaled sharply, stunned by a sudden rush of emotion, seeing him. I was so glad at that moment he’d taught me how to not cry.
Obviously he’d been setting the video camera on a tripod but couldn’t get it into the position he wanted it in and then gave up. Consequently, we only occasionally saw his mouth. Mostly we saw the top third of his face.
“Petty,” my dad said, “this is your dad.” He cleared his throat. “Today is your eighteenth birthday, and I’m making this video will. I’ve also typed it up and had it notarized.”
Mr. Dooley held up a file folder, and I took that to mean the written will was inside it.
“I know you realize I’m not going to be around forever to take care of you. I’ve tried my best to keep you safe all your life. I’ve taught you everything I know. And I’ve done my best to be a good father. I know I didn’t always succeed but I didn’t have your mom around to help me out.”
I found myself sitting up straighter, trying to see the bottom half of his face.
“I know you got tired of me telling you that we live in an extremely dangerous world. In Saw Pole, you’re about as safe as you can be on this earth, and I want to make sure you stay here. That’s why I bought a million--dollar life insurance policy today.”
It took me a moment to realize he was speaking literally. My jaw sagged.
A million dollars?
“You’re the sole beneficiary, Petty, but there are conditions. And you know I’m only doing this because it’s for your own good.”
Randy sat straighter in his chair and gave me a sideways glance.
“In order to get the money, Petty, you’re going to have to marry Randy King—-if he’s alive and still single.”
He said it casually, as if telling me I needed to remember to feed the dogs. My head jerked, almost involuntarily, toward Randy. He stared back at me, emotionless. It was clear he’d already known what was coming and hadn’t said a word about it. Nausea dribbled into my stomach.
“And if he’s not, you’ll have to join the Dominican Sisters order in Bison, Kansas, and live and serve with them for twenty years after my death . . .”
I lunged forward and hit the pause button. Then I looked from Randy to Mr. Dooley and opened my mouth. A loud sound like the bleating of a wounded sheep came out, and I couldn’t stop for quite a while.
It was the sound of all my treasured hopes and dreams disappearing down the drain.
This was worse than drowning. Worse than having no mother. Worse than living with a silent crazy father. I wouldn’t be free after all. I wouldn’t have the normal life I’d planned.
The silence that followed was broken only by the sounds of both men’s ragged breathing. Randy held his hands over his ears.
“What the hell was that?” he said.
“Now now,” Mr. Dooley said.
Marry Randy King? I’d never even been alone with a man other than my father until two days before. Never been kissed. Marriage meant sex, and my dad had talked endlessly about rape and how to avoid it. And now he had sold me out for a lifetime of it.
I had to think. Was it possible to just refuse the money? If I did, I would no longer have anywhere to live. I couldn’t drive. I had no skills, no friends, no family. Where would I go? What would I do?
How could Dad do this to me? How?
“I’m not . . .” I said. “I’m not . . .”
“Do you need some water?” Mr. Dooley asked.
“I do solemnly swear,” I shouted suddenly, “to uphold the Constitution of the United States!”
I only got to the second line before Randy let loose an ear--splitting whistle and I stopped talking.
“Are you crazy?” he said to me.
I closed my eyes and whispered the rest of the oath to myself.
“Let’s everybody take it easy,” Mr. Dooley said. “I know this is a shock, Petty. You’ve been through a lot in the last few days. But let’s go ahead and see what else your dad had to say. All right?”
I couldn’t answer.
Mr. Dooley stood cracking his knuckles, watching me. He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat. “Petty, I have a four o’clock appointment. Is it okay if we go on with the tape?” He hit play on the VCR.
“I know this is unexpected,” Dad said. “It might feel unfair to you, but I have devoted my life to protecting you.” Dad pressed his lips together and he couldn’t go on for a moment. “So I’m doing the only thing I can think of to continue protecting you after my death. Randy’s a good man and he’ll keep you safe. You can trust him. He runs a decent operation, he’s well respected around the county, and he’s a member in good standing with the Kansas State Militia.
“But if you don’t marry Randy, you forfeit everything. It’ll all revert to the trust, and it will all go to the sisters in Bison. If you marry and then divorce him, you forfeit the money and the house. It all goes to the sisters. You have thirty days from the time you see this videotape to make up your mind.”