[email protected] wrote:
. . . thanks, but there’s not that much to say and I really just want to be left alone.
Ah kid, you’ve been through a lot, but isolating yourself is not healthy. Mom is right, you should come home to the ranch and decompress. Get out of Rhode Island and away from those lunatics and come back to Texas where we’ll treat you right—Rebecca knows a great spa in Austin, it’s like a two-day thing, and they feed you and pamper you and when you come out, I swear you’re ten pounds lighter just from all the wraps. Write me back. Why is your phone disconnected, anyway? We luv u, Rachel. Robbie
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Doing Fine
From: Rebecca Parrish <reparrish72@aolcom>
To: Rachel Lear <[email protected]>
[email protected] wrote:
. . . appreciate the advice, but this isn’t really the same as when you and Bud split up. I really don’t want to talk about it anymore, Bec. I’m sick of talking about it. But thanks for trying. Rachel.
But see? It is the same because I felt the same way after Bud left me. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and let me wallow in my misery for a while. But Rach, don’t do what I did and wallow too long because it really screwed me up. I started to believe I was worthless and deserved everything he did to me. It wasn’t until you and Robbie sent me on the transformation retreat that I began to snap out of it and realize that what happened didn’t happen TO me, it happened AROUND me (transformation seminar, track 3). There is a subtle distinction, you know—if something is done to you, it’s malevolent. If something is done around you, it’s a case of your being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the trick is to recognize you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time and get out before anyone notices. Do you know what I mean? Gee, I really wish I could talk to you, Rachel. Do you need some money to get your phone reconnected? Please write me back. I am worried about you. Mom’s thinking of coming to Providence, but she said she wouldn’t do that without talking to you first. Love you, Rebecca
Subject: Your Boyfriend’s Crime
From: Lillian Stanton <[email protected]>
To: Rachel Ellen Lear [email protected]
Rachel honey Bonnie told me all what happened and I just want you to know that your grandpa and I think it’s just awful what he done he deserves to go to jail and hell. Yes I said hell. Bonnie says your real depressed and I don’t blame you honey because that is an awful thing to have to go through just ask your sister Robin because she was arrested once. I think you ought to come home. If you don’t want to go to the ranch you just come on to Houston and I will make you some brownies you know the ones with fudge and nuts you like so well. Just let us know when your plane gets in and Grandpa will come pick you up at the airport only be sure to come to Bush Intercontinental and not Hobby because that is too far for him to drive on account of that blood clot he had last year I swear if it’s not one thing its another with that old man.
Hey Rachel . . . Old Man here . . . Got me a new hunting rifle. Want me to come up there and plug that sorry sonofabee? Lil says that’s not funny but I didn’t mean it to be funny, I’m serious as a heart attack. I love you pretty face and if you want me to kill him I will. Hell, I’m eighty years old. They aren’t going to put me in jail. Let me know. Love, Grandma and Grandpa
Subject: Hello Baby Girl
From: Aaron Lear <[email protected]>
To: Rachel <[email protected]>
From everything I’ve read and heard I guess it’s safe to assume that you went to Hilton Head and did what you had to do. And I don’t suppose you need any more advice than you’ve been getting from the rest of the crew. Your mom says you’ve turned off your phone, and I can sure understand why, but I want you to know that I am proud of you, Rachel, damn proud. I know it hasn’t been easy. No one ever likes to find out they’ve been the ass of someone’s sick joke, especially when it’s splashed across the news for all the world to see. But I have every confidence you will come through this stronger and better than before. Call me when you’re ready, baby girl. Dad
There was, to Rachel’s way of thinking, nothing to be proud of. She had waltzed herself right into the middle of a nightmare and had not been able to muddle her way out. When she wasn’t reliving every single thing Flynn had said or done, she was reviewing, with her perfect hindsight, all the clues that should have told her she was being followed, surveilled, and generally spied upon.