“The thing is, even if you can do it, I’m not allowed to send you to the job site if your quals don’t match.”
“Okay, so what do I have to do to make my quals match?”
The girl fixed a look on her that gave Rachel the distinct impression she thought she was dealing with a moron. “They have to be on your résumé. Here—” She punched a button and swiveled around to the printer, retrieved a paper when it finished printing, and handed it to Rachel.
Caterer’s assistant. Ability to help serve food and drinks to party of 50-100 persons. Knowledge of meal courses, including appetizers, entrees, and desserts. Knowledge of cocktails and wines. Physical requirements: Ability to lift up to 25 pounds. Black attire required, including shoes. Apron will be provided.
Rachel looked at the girl. “Are you saying I’m not qualified for this?”
“It don’t say so on your résumé!” she reiterated adamantly.
That was a minor obstacle. “How much do they pay?”
The girl glanced at the screen. “Hundred for Saturday night. About six hours of work.”
“So,” Rachel said, drumming her fingers on the counter, “what would it take to get food service added to my quals?”
With a slight shrug, the girl blew a bubble as she sized Rachel up. She popped the bubble and said, “A ten ought to do it.”
Rachel resisted the urge to wrap ten fingers around her skinny throat and dug in her bag, unwrapped a wad consisting of a five and four ones, found four quarters in the bottom, and pushed it all across the counter to the girl. “Thanks,” she said, and still clutching the paper, she marched out the door.
Rachel’s phone did not ring that night either. She did, however, receive some e-mail.
Subject Re: What’s going on?
From: Rebecca Parrish <[email protected]>
To: Rach <[email protected]>
CC: Robbie <[email protected]>
WHAT GUY!?!?!? You can’t drop a little tidbit like that and just leave it hanging! And I assume you are KIDDING when you say you and Dagne used witchcraft because I KNOW you wouldn’t get into something so going-to-hell as witchcraft, RIGHT, RACHEL???
So anyway, what’s he like? Is he nice? What does he look like? Have you actually gone out on a date? Where did you meet him? Does he know you’re rich? You know that’s the first thing Mom and Dad will want to know. Write back and tell us what’s going on!
By the way . . . Mom called the other day and seems to think I should talk to you about finishing school and getting a job. So, here is me telling you to finish school and get a job. :)
Bec, who’s dying to know about the GUY!
Subject Re: [FWD: Re: What’s going on?]
From: <[email protected]>
To: Rach <[email protected]>
CC: Rebecca Parrish <reparrish720aol.com>
First of all, what KIND of witchcraft? If it’s the weird kind, you’re dead. Do you have any idea what Grandma would do? I’m tempted to call her just for the entertainment value alone. So who’s the guy? Why can’t you ever just send an e-mail with all the information instead of making us jump through five million hoops to find out what’s going on?
Okay, back to me. I checked out the link you sent on (let me get this right) TAN-TRA, and it didn’t have any pictures. Come on, don’t you have a book or something? Maybe a video? That would actually be better because Jake and I aren’t big readers. Rob.
Subject RE: RE: [FWD: Re: What’s going on?]
From: Rebecca Parrish <[email protected]>
To: Robbie <[email protected]>
CC: Rach <[email protected]>
Oh right, I meant to ask you about that tantric thing. Can Matt and I get a book, too? But not a video. I would die if a video like that showed up and Grayson plugged it into the TV. Anyway, I don’t think it’s legal to send that kind of video through the mail. Bec
Subject RE: RE: [FWD: Re: What’s going on?]
From: <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
CC: <[email protected]>
News Flash—maybe one of the reasons I don’t send long e-mails is because of the response I get from my older sisters (e.g., please see thread below). First—okay, you guys, let me try this again. TANTRA is an eastern mystical science and it’s all about understanding the universe you live in. It is not a sex manual, for God’s sake. If you really want to get into it, you’re supposed to study how to connect with the universe and become more complete in ALL aspects of your life, not just the bedroom, you sex-crazy dolts. But okay, part of that connection is an awareness and release of sexual energy. So if y’all will promise to at least read about the mystical science of Tantra, I will send you a little pocket companion book I have that talks about the sexual energy part and how to release it. Do you promise????? I’m not sending it unless you say you promise.