2.Grayson is happier than I’ve seen him in a long time, adores Matt–didn’t even care that Bud blew off their weekend again. And he hasn’t fought with Taylor in more than two weeks! Yes!
3.Saved the best for last–I am happy, too, happier than I can ever remember being in my life, so happy that I don’t think I really need to do this shit anymore. Sayonara, you stupid Affirmation Journal for life! I am free!
It was true—Rebecca felt like a completely new woman. After years of numbness, and just going through the motions, it seemed like she had woken up one day in never-never land, where things actually were falling into place and she was, at last, her own person, warts and all.
She agreed, reluctantly, to finish out the fundraiser for Tom. She had balked at first—it seemed a little disingenuous to plan a fundraiser for a candidate she really knew little about, but then again, it seemed much worse to promise to do it and then renege at this late date. And Tom was so frantic on the phone that she almost believed it was a life or death situation for him. She determined it would be worse for any chance at future employment to dump the project, and agreed to do it on three conditions: “I want to do it from my house.”
“I don’t care where you do it, just as long as you do it,” Tom insisted.
“And I need help.”
Tom had hemmed and hawed at that one, but in the end, Matt had come through with Harold, who had practically begged Matt to recommend him when Matt had casually mentioned it. He was, Rebecca quickly discovered, a godsend.
The third condition she kept to herself—but she had promised herself to learn about the campaign and the issues before she finished the gala, and toward that end, had penciled in a series of candidate forums over the next month. By the time her killer fundraiser came around, she was determined to be the most informed person on staff.
From that point forward, Rebecca put all her energies into her new sense of purpose and experiencing, no holds barred, the absolute, heart-stopping, all-consuming positively joyous process of falling in love.
Falling! As in, off a cliff, a nosedive right into the thick of it. Now it seemed so amusing that she could go from despising Matt half the time to adoring him all the time. She loved how he cared for Grayson and paid attention to him. She loved how he loved her dogs. How dedicated he was to his principles and his practice. And she was held in thrall by how the man could turn her into a quivering heap of raw flesh with a single touch.
“What in the hell is the matter with you?” Robin had demanded on the phone one afternoon when Rebecca called to invite her and Jake to her fundraiser.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re all giggly and flighty. That’s so unlike you. It’s almost . . . Ohmigod. It’s that guy, isn’t it? That lawyer you couldn’t stand?”
Rebecca laughed. “Maybe.”
“Maybe? That’s all you’re going to say? Tell me, or I will drive down there and make you tell me.”
Robin had never been very subtle. So Rebecca confessed all.
Except, of course, how Matt had liberated her, had led her across new boundaries and had coaxed her to climb up to new horizons. Each time they were together (which was frequent, because frankly, she wanted it all the time, and that was definitely a new Rebecca), it seemed she was lifted higher and higher, freed at last from insecurity and secret despair.
And oh, what a willing and cheerful partner Matt made in her journey to find herself. The night she pulled out a Kama Sutra book, one of the myriad self-help and philosophical books Rachel had passed along. Matt laughed, put his hands over her eyes, made her flip through the pages, then choose one, sight unseen. Afterward, lying there half on, half off the bed, Matt had whispered the words that had made her heart shine as bright as the sun: “Baby, you’re gonna kill me!”
Yeah, well, she was certainly going to die trying.
And there were times, such as when she and Matt would sit on the back porch and watch Grayson and his new pal Taylor play with the dogs, that she wondered if she was kidding herself or if it was really possible to feel this way about another person, to be so totally in tune with another human being. She didn’t have the need to analyze it anymore, just the strong desire to feel it. This was, she recognized, the best time of her life.
Matt, too, was having those tender and shiny feelings of love, and just like Rebecca, he found them rather remarkable. He could honestly admit that he was glad he hadn’t missed this, being part of another person’s life. He never would have guessed it could be so pure and so fulfilling. When he thought about the meaningless flings he had had over the years, he even felt a little sorry for himself. What a dumb bastard he’d been.