The Broken Pieces of Us (The Devil's Dust #2.1)

“I was going to get rid of him anyway; he can’t follow orders. Call it insurance for our new business transaction,” Augustus states, shrugging. My eyes widen with surprise as I look at Shadow, who is staring down at Bobby with grief. I need to get him out of here before he kills everyone in this shithole.

“I’ll call you with the details, Bull,” Augustus hollers, walking out of the building with his thugs in tow.

“We should have killed him,” Shadow says, watching Augustus walk away. I wanted to kill him too, wanted to make him pay for the orders he gave his men. But in retrospect, I would have ordered the same if a bunch of women came on my turf and hurt my family.

“If we touch him, his men would kill every one of us and everyone we know,” I remark. Besides, this all lands on Locks. I walk up to Locks’ body, his face and neck stained in a thick layer of blood. How well do you really know a person? I thought I knew Locks; I grew up with him. Where did it all go wrong? He killed the love of my life. Hell gave me a second chance at having a family, and Locks took it all away.

“Lust like a saint, trust like a sinner,” I whisper. Words I preach by, but can’t seem to follow myself.





one year later

It’s been a year since Babs’ death, since the club was turned upside down by a man I considered a friend, more than that really, he was family. As much as he deserved to die, I miss the fucker. More than anything, I miss Babs. She brought something out of me, something I thought I lost with Dani’s mother. Sure, I could have any bitch around here, but they just don’t measure up to Babs. So to say I have fallen as far as Hell can go, is an understatement. I can’t bring myself away from the bottle long enough to take care of myself, let alone run this club. Thankfully, Shadow has taken charge in my absence. I can’t help it. I can’t stop myself from waking up and instantly wanting to numb the pain slicing through my soul. I know I did this to myself, created this never-ending abandonment, probably more than anyone. If I had taken Babs under my wing, told the club about us, she would have come to me with her problems. I would have handled her niece’s attack, keeping her out of danger.

Lady, another one of my failures, I should have ran after her when we were younger and she left. Maybe then she wouldn’t have hated me so much and I would have been there for Dani growing up. Locks, the man I grew up with. I messed with his ol’ lady and he died by my hand. I sigh and pull the near empty bottle of whiskey to my lips and down what’s left of it. Why can’t I numb myself? Why can’t I protect my club? Why can’t I do a lot of things right? I grew up watching my dad handle this club with ease, but it seems all I am doing is destroying it, breaking it in pieces, much like myself. I stumble down the hall and fall into a warm body.

“Damn, Prez, you okay?” Bobby asks, concerned, holding me up. I pull from his grip and look into those blue eyes that look like they belong to a woman.

“I’m fine!” I slur, my attempt to yell lacking. I look back at him and feel regretful for yelling at him. He went through Hell taking a bullet for Shadow; he is truly a brother of this club. After Bobby returned from the hospital, I made Shadow my vice president, and Bobby is always at his side in decision making.

I slide against the wall until my ass hits the floor. I love this club, but it has taken two loves and a best friend from me. I deserve the right to drink myself into oblivion. I’m too old for this shit anymore.

“You don’t look so well, man.”

I look up and see Bobby standing over me. He’s still here?

“Fuck off,” I mumble, lifting the bottle for a drink, only to find an empty bottle. Shit, I already drank it all.

I close my eyes, slump sideways, and blackness follows.

***

“Bull.” I hear a sweet voice sound from within the darkness claiming my eyes.

“Bull, wakeup.” Babs? Is that Babs? I see her red hair, her green eyes smiling back at me. A sob escapes my mouth.

“I miss you so much. I fucking love you. I should have done everything so different,” I wail, my words slurred with sleep.

“Bull!”

My eyes dart open to nothing but bright lights and blurry vision.

“Bull can you hear me?” Doc asks, shining a bright fucking light in my face.

“Yes, get the hell off me!” I yell, pushing her hand away holding a flashlight.

“How much have you had drink?” she asks, picking up the empty bottle next to me.

“I’m not drinking anymore,” I slur, my head pounding and mouth dry. I smirk and look at Doc’s concerned face. “Then again, I ain’t drinking any less,” I laugh, still drunk.

She purses her lips and scowls. “I need to get an IV in him,” she informs someone. Who, I don’t fucking know. I can’t even see past her.

“Yeah, you do what you need to, doll,” I mutter and succumb to darkness.

***

I wake up in my bed, my body feeling sore as hell, and the feeling to throw up overbearing.