“I’m sorry, dear girl,” said Ripper. “But I hate to waste an entrance.”
“We could have handled this guy,” said Zoe.
“No doubt,” said Ripper. “I had a second purpose in coming here—I am in need of your counsel. But first, introduce me to your friends?”
What followed was a surreal, slow-motion moment—two worlds bleeding into each other.
“This is Ripper,” said Zoe. “And this is Val and Dallas. They’re my people.”
“Hello, Zoe’s people,” said Ripper.
She looked Dallas over approvingly, and shook his hand longer than necessary.
“How old are you, if I may inquire?” she asked him.
Dallas coughed nervously.
“Seventeen?” he said.
“Pity,” said Ripper. She touched the Band-Aid on his chin with her forefinger. “I myself am nearly two hundred.”
Dallas nodded.
“You look good,” he said.
Ripper laughed, and proceeded to Val.
“This hair of yours,” she said. “I suspect you don’t care to hear anyone’s opinion—but may I tell you my opinion?”
“Um, sure?” said Val.
“It is sublime,” said Ripper. “You must not alter it until you’ve infuriated as many imbeciles as you can.”
“Yeah, that’s my plan,” said Val.
Zoe felt a flood of fondness for both of them. Val was devoted to her girlfriend, Gloria, but not above being flattered by someone as gorgeous as Ripper.
“Okay, now can I ask you a question?” said Val. “Actually, two questions?”
“You may,” said Ripper.
“What the hell is going on?” said Val. “Who even are you?”
“I am an associate of X’s,” she said. “Zoe will tell you the tale later. I promise it will not bore you.”
She turned to Zoe.
“What shall we do with Mr. Mushroom?” she said.
“I don’t know,” said Zoe. “I hit the brake to avoid a deer, and he crashed into me—and then he just went nuts.”
“Yes, well, lunatics are full of surprises,” said Ripper. “I don’t mean to disparage lunatics, by the way. I am a lunatic myself.”
She shoved Zoe’s and Ronny’s vehicles apart, without any show of effort. Then she walked to the ditch.
“Mr. Mushroom,” she said.
Ronny looked petrified.
“Yes, ma’am?” he said.
His shirt was twisted halfway up his torso. His gut hung over his belt.
“Are you quite finished making difficulties?” said Ripper.
“Uh-huh,” said Ronny, nodding frantically. “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
“Then get on your feet,” said Ripper.
Ronny climbed awkwardly out of the ditch. His right eyeball was now thoroughly soaked with blood.
“If ever you mention me—or any of the inexplicable things you witnessed here—to a single person,” Ripper told him, “I will find you, relieve you of your internal organs one by one, and wave them in front of your face as you die. I believe I could draw the process out for hours. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Ronny.
“Very good,” said Ripper. She pointed at the Booty Hunter cap. “Give me your hat.”
Ronny handed it to her reluctantly, and she put it on.
“Now go away,” she said. “And have that eye of yours inspected by a surgeon. It is repulsive.”
Ronny fled to his truck, and drove off with the ruined hood bouncing.
They all stood silently until he was out of sight.
Zoe looked at her phone—she had to be at the memorial service in five minutes. But she wasn’t ready to say good-bye to Ripper.
“Come with me,” Ripper said suddenly.
“To where?” said Zoe. “What do you mean?”
She heard a siren in the distance. The police.
“You recall the reason I ran from the Lowlands?” said Ripper.
“You want to see where your children are buried,” said Zoe.
“Just so,” said Ripper. “I have found Alfie’s grave, and at last said a proper farewell, yet I cannot find Belinda. And you see the state of my dress and boots—I can hardly make inquiries. But you could.”
“I could,” Zoe said tentatively. “I’m good at inquiries.”
“Zoe,” said Val, “whatever this is—no.”
“I’m with Val,” said Dallas. He glanced at Ripper. “Please don’t levitate me.”
Ripper held Zoe’s eyes, waiting.
“I have to give Bert and Betty’s eulogy,” said Zoe. “In five minutes.”
“Afterward?” said Ripper. “I will come to you wherever you are.” She paused. “I know I must seem very fierce to you, Zoe. Yet if you had seen me at the stone marker bearing Alfie’s name—truly, the grass will grow taller where I sat weeping. And Belinda died in such a piteous way. Abandoned. Unloved. I myself was already in the Lowlands. Even if I could discover where they laid her body down, I could not face the place alone. So I ask you for one night.” She was all but begging. “Will you come?”
Zoe gazed at Ripper. It’d be dangerous to be with her when she was on the run from the lords, and Zoe had had enough danger. She had to say no. Even though Ripper had once risked herself for Zoe’s family—even though Ripper loved X as if she were his own mother—she had to say no.
The siren was louder. Zoe saw a squad car shoot out of the woods.
“Ripper, I—” she began.
“Before you answer,” said Ripper, “let me add an inducement. Every night, the lords send bounty hunters after me. It goes without saying that I defeat them all. Last night, thinking of you, I told one of them: ‘You may inform the lords that if they want me, there is only one hunter I will ever surrender to.’ ”
Ripper waited to see if Zoe understood, before continuing.
“I beg you to come—not just to help me find my Belinda, but so that you might be there when the lords finally send X for my head.”
three
Zoe and her friends crept into First Presbyterian looking disheveled and dazed. The congregation was already singing “Abide with Me.” Val and Dallas ducked into a pew near the back, but Zoe had to walk to the front. The hymn ended when she was halfway there, and suddenly the only sound in the church was her black flats going squinch-squinch on the floor. Everyone turned. Zoe gave an embarrassed wave. No one seemed to think it was funny.
Her mother had saved her a seat by the aisle, where she was sitting with Jonah and her hippy-dippy, chain saw–artist friend, Rufus. Zoe expected her mother to whisper Where were you? or at least give her a disappointed look. Instead, she gripped Zoe’s hand warmly. She must have known she was scared to death. Zoe’s heart, which had only just stopped racing from the confrontation with Ronny, now raced at the thought of giving Bert and Betty’s eulogy in front of 200 people.
After Stan Manggold had killed the Wallaces, he’d dumped them in the lake by their house. Divers had recovered their bodies a few days ago. Zoe had wanted to be there when Bert and Betty were found. Someone who loved them should have been there. She’d actually snuck out to her car the morning of the dive, knowing her mother wouldn’t approve. Unfortunately, Jonah figured out what she was up to, and hid in the backseat so he could go, too. A mile from the house, he scared the crap out of Zoe by springing up in the rearview mirror and shouting, “It’s me!”
She couldn’t let the little bug watch bodies get pulled out of a lake—he’d be so freaked out that he would be sleeping in her bed for a month. When he wouldn’t stop saying “I loved Bert and Betty also! I loved them also!” Zoe made an illegal U-turn, and drove to Krispy Kreme, where they ate donuts and cried without talking.