I forced a smile.“Well, when you put it like that…”
I wished I could explain to Kate that it wasn’t just the sex that was making things complicated, it was the feelings attached to the sex. But to explain that to Kate I would have had to explain it to myself first, and if there was one thing in life I didn’t understand, it was how Grant made me feel the way he did.
Maybe Kate was right. Everything she was saying made sense. Everything I was thinking and feeling made no sense at all.
But Kate was right, why couldn’t I be happy?
? ? ?
The universe refused to respond to my questions with a detailed essay whose footnotes laid out the crux of all my emotional difficulties, and so there I was at our apartment, trying to sort out my feelings about all this while also trying to run interference between Grant and my parents so they all got off on the right foot.
Grant had chosen the caterers well, good delicious food that was organic and ethical and local but not too fancy; the high price tag came from the plants’and animals’ quality of life, not a publicity campaign or a lot of imported ingredients.
There was deep-fried okra, vegetable pie, chicken soup, ginger carrot soup, local beer, and chocolate chip cookies spread out all over the counter in the kitchen; the four of us had pulled up stools and we passed the baskets of food around to whoever wanted to try them.
I wanted to address the elephant in the room right away, but Grant had persuaded me to let him ease them into it, so right now we were chatting about the weather, local sports, and the apartment.
“It’s a bit empty at the moment, but I do think that sort of highlights its potent energies,” Mom was saying. “I know a wonderful feng shui master who’d be willing to give it a look over, Grant, if you’re interested.”
“I’m always open to suggestions, ma’am,” Grant said, while shooting me an amused look.
I just raised my eyebrow. I had tried to tell him they were hippies.
“Oh, call me Emma, dear,”Mom said.“Or would you prefer Mom? Lacey, would you prefer he call me Emma or Mom—”
I figured there had been enough easing, and that this was a ready-made opportunity.
“Actually, Mom, Dad, there’s something I wanted to tell you…”
? ? ?
They took it amazingly well.
I mean, I knew they were hippies and believed in peace and love and everyone following their own path...but they took it amazingly well.
“I support whatever Lacey wants to do,” Mom said. “If you’re willing to go along with this, Pumpkin, I know you’ve got a good reason.”
“Got a good head on her shoulders, and a good heart,” Dad said.
If I didn’t know they viewed the accumulation of wealth as a stain upon the soul of Mother Earth, I would have suspected Grant of bribing them.
“Practical gal, but she never lets that override her morals,” Dad said. “Remember the lemonade stand?”
“Oh, not this story again,” I protested.
“I want to hear the story,” Grant volunteered, a wicked grin on his face.
It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” my mom said with a reproachful look at me. “Well, it was the hottest summer on record, and Lacey had opened up a lemonade stand, charging fifty cents a cup. Well, one day this homeless man came by, and Lacey gave him a cup for free. Our snooty neighbor didn’t like that at all, so she came charging out and Lacey just looked at her and said—”
“Oh hey Dad, did you know Grant collects cars?”I interrupted before Mom could get to the embarrassing part where I dumped lemonade over that lady’s head.“You should go look at his cars! There’re mostly old ones, but there are some new fuel-efficient ones too! Go look at cars!”
I hustled Grant and Dad out of the room, Grant mouthing over his shoulder I will find out what happened, and turned back to my mom, who was digging into the chocolate chip cookies with gusto.
“You’re really cool with this?” I asked.
“Yes I am, young lady. We’ll stick to the script in any interviews, too,”Mom promised. She giggled.“Oooh, interviews! Listen to me, like some kind of movie star!”
“Yeah, you’ll be in the spotlight for sure.”I toyed with a piece of okra, but my nerves had destroyed my appetite.“You’re really okay?”
“Sounds like maybe you want me to not be okay with it. Are youhappy, Pumpkin?”
I looked away so she wouldn’t see me tear up.“Don’t know what you mean, Mom.”
“Oh, Lacey Spacey Pumpkin Pie, I wasn’t born yesterday.”She covered my hand with hers. Her hand was warm, the skin just starting to paper with age.“I can see you like him a whole lot. Seems like he likes you too. Is this what you want, doing the marriage this way?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“Maybe if you and Grant talked—”