“Okay,” I whispered and hung up.
The subway ride back was silent, the two of us having nothing to say. A few people gave us looks, but this was New York, and my frazzled hair, bloody hands and tear stained cheeks were nothing special. I couldn’t stop shivering, the dead look in Maddie’s eyes as they took her away playing over and over in my mind. Ash pressed his side against mine, allowing a little warmth to seep through me.
We said nothing as we walked through our neighborhood on the way home. Ash walked me to the front door. He faced me, and when our eyes met, I felt the tears sting my eyes.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, softly, stepping closer to pull me against his chest. As if they had a mind of their own, my arms slid up and around him, my hands pressed flat against his back. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to be,” he said, firmly.
I felt a buzzing near my hip and pulled back slightly.
“Sorry, that’s me.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered. “Hey, babe.”
It took a moment for the words to seep through my panic, and my dramatics. But when it did, it hit me like a speeding train. I stepped back horrified, feeling a flush spread across my chest. Ash’s eyes met mine, and I felt anger fill me up, making me shake even harder than before. I could feel the bile rise up in my throat.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he was saying. “I promise I’ll see you tomorrow. I know. I’ve been really busy…no, it’s nothing important. I gotta go. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise, baby.” He hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket.
“You’re an asshole,” I spat out, backing up farther away from him.
“Zoey, come on,” he started to say, following me.
“Get away from me.” I placed my palms against his chest and pushed.
He stumbled, a bewildered, hurt look on his face, but he caught himself, and the look quickly disappeared. The arrogant smile was back. “I hope you weren’t too encouraged back there at the club, Z,” he said smoothly. “You’re not exactly my type.” He laughed.
I felt the words like a punch to the gut. “I hate you,” I whispered humiliated. I danced with him. I let him touch me, and I had almost kissed him. I yanked my gaze away from his and turned, running into the house straight into the arms of my dad.
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, my dad rushed off to work, promising to find out as much as he could about Madison. Her parents had been calling us all night, in between calling hospitals and the police. No one knew where she was.
Like clockwork, Ash showed up at my door less than an hour after my dad had left. He had been given a key (thanks, Dad, for making it possible for Ash to walk in on me naked), but I’d already thought about that and had secured the chain lock. As soon as Ash unlocked the door, it merely swung open a couple inches. I sat on the bottom step of the stairs and wrapped my arms tightly around my knees, my head resting against the banister.
Bandit went to the door, his tail wagging. He looked behind him, right at me as if wondering why I wasn’t opening the door.
“Zoey?” Ash sounded confused. “Let me in.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Go away, Ash.”
There was a long pause. “Come on, let me in, Z.”
“No.”
Ash laughed, his voice echoing through the small crack. “You’re being ridiculous.”
I felt the anger flare up in me, but I ignored it and took a deep breath to steady myself. “I said, go away,” I repeated.
Bandit barked softly, looking between the wood of the door and me, a confused look on his face.
“See, Bandit wants me to come in.”
I didn’t answer. That didn’t even deserve an answer.
“I told your dad I’d take care of you.”
“Shut up, Ash.” I gripped the bannister tightly in my hand. “I can take care of myself. Go take care of Heather.”
Ash laughed again. “God, I knew you were jealous. Last night was all fun and games, Z. There’s no need to get attached.”
I sprung up onto my feet and went stalking toward the door, my heart pounding loudly in my head. “Last night was not fun and games. My best friend is sick and was taken away, you asshole.” I slammed the door shut. “And I’m not jealous!”
I waited a moment for a response that didn’t come. I raced to the front window just in time to see Ash walk up on his own front steps. I collapsed on the window seat and sighed, my head in my hands.
I stayed in the house for days, going through each as if on autopilot. I was unable to do more than eat, sleep and watch a lot of TV. I couldn’t move, or function. We’d finally received some word of Madison but the barest of words. She was in the hospital, she was sick. No one, not even her family, was allowed to see her.