“I am who I am because of how I grew up. I love my dad and my brother and I even love Liz as my stepmother, but their lives are so hectic and disconnected from each other. And none of them think much about how God fits into the picture. I probably would have grown up just like Brady is growing up now if I had been raised the way he’s being raised. I wouldn’t be who I am at all.”
“But that’s my point. If you leave now, you’ll lose all influence over them. Do you think that’s right, just to abandon them that way?”
I shook my head. “I’m not abandoning them. Trust me, Lark, I’ll have a far greater influence on them as an Amish man than I would if I stayed. And even if that was the only reason to go back, that would be reason enough.”
She breathed in deeply and looked down at her empty hands. “But that’s not the only reason.”
“No.”
Lark raised her head to face me. “You’re going to ask her to marry you.”
I nodded.
We were quiet for a moment.
“I know maybe you don’t want to hear this, but I have you to thank for helping me realize where I want to be. And who I want to be.”
She shook her head and smiled thinly. “So I’m supposed to say, ‘You’re welcome’?”
I touched her arm, friend to friend. “I mean it. God has orchestrated every aspect of my time here to answer a prayer that’s been on my heart for a long while. You were a part of that.”
She sighed.
“You’ve been a good friend, Lark. You taught me a lot. Not just about photography but about so many, many things. I’m really glad God put you in my life for these few weeks.”
She turned her gaze to a pair of children off in the distance, running at full speed toward a swing set. “Would you think me terribly selfish if I told you I still wish you had decided to stay?”
I squeezed her arm and let go. “I’m humbled and flattered. But that’s not the path I’m on. I know that now.”
We sat there for a few minutes watching the children across from us squeal in delight as they pumped their legs, sending their swings higher and higher into the sky. Watching them reminded me again of Rachel, of the day I fell in love with her on the swings so many years ago.
Lark and I were mostly silent as we walked back to her house. When we got there, she turned to give me one final goodbye hug, but I had something else I needed to do first. I led her over to my car, unlocked it, and reached inside, pulling out an envelope of cash with her name written on it.
“Your fee,” I said, handing it over with a flourish. “Along with my thanks. You were an outstanding tutor.”
I was smiling, but her expression quickly went blank. She was quiet for a moment, and then she told me she simply couldn’t take it. “I know what we had started out as a financial arrangement, but it became much more. So much more. I wouldn’t feel right taking your money.”
I was not at all surprised. Before I left to come over, I’d realized she wasn’t going to accept it. But then I’d had another idea, a good one. Without pressing things further, I slipped the envelope into my jacket pocket and gave her an understanding nod.
“I had a feeling you wouldn’t,” I said, and then I leaned back into the car, this time to retrieve the Leica. “This, on the other hand, might be a different story.”
I held the camera out to her. She just stared at it for a long moment. “I don’t understand,” she whispered.
“I want you to have this. I honestly do.”
“Holy cow. What? Why?”
“For two reasons.”
Before I could even list those reasons, she was reaching out to touch it with the tip of one finger, gently, reverently, the way one might touch a child, or a lover.
“First, it needs to belong to someone who would really appreciate it—and really use it. I can’t think of anyone who might enjoy it more than you. I want you to take it and make the most of it in my mother’s memory.”
In response, a sound bubbled from Lark’s throat, a cross between a cry of joy and a sob. She put a hand to her mouth even as her eyes filled with tears.
“Second, I wanted to give you something special—”
“You can say that again,” she whispered, blinking away the tears, her eyes still on the camera.
“Something that could symbolize how amazing you are and how very glad I am you came into my life. I owe you more than you could ever imagine.”
After that, I grew silent, still holding out the camera, waiting for her to take it.
Slowly, she did. Cradling it her hands, she studied it as if she’d never even seen it before.
“I can’t…I don’t…”
I smiled. “Yes you can. Please. I want you to have it. It would make me happy.”
She met my eyes, almost convinced. “What about your dad? Does he even know what this thing is worth?”
I nodded. “I told him. And then he said it belongs to me. And now I’m saying it belongs to you.”
She looked down at her new treasure, a smile slowly spreading across her face even as tears filled her eyes. Lark wasn’t the girl for me, but I knew she would make someone else very happy someday.
And there would be beautiful photographs all along the way.
THIRTY-ONE