“She was my daughter.”
“She was mine too, but we still have one daughter and she’s standing here with us. You have to accept that Nicole is never coming back.”
“No, no.” She was shaking her head again. “You can do whatever you want, but I’ll never forgive her.” She turned and faced me. “Do you hear that? I will never forgive you.”
She ran back to the car, slamming the door behind her and spinning the wheels as she burned out of the driveway.
Too shocked even to cry, I stared after her, my legs vibrating with nerves while her words echoed in my head. Never forgive you …
My dad reached out and laid his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch.
“I’m sorry, Toni. She’s never dealt with it. Nicole’s room is still the same, and she won’t let me pack anything. She can’t move past it. The therapist said the only way your mom can cope is by staying angry and blaming everyone, or else she finally has to face that Nicole’s gone.”
I spun around. “How can you still be with her?”
He looked surprised. “I love her.”
“Well, she doesn’t love me.”
“She does, she’s just stuck blaming you. Otherwise, she’ll start blaming herself, for not seeing what was going on with Nicole that last year. I did the same thing but I worked through it, and I want a relationship with you.”
“She won’t like it.”
He sighed. “I know, and I’ll deal with that, even if it means losing her. But I’m not losing you again. You’re my daughter.”
I looked back at the road, still seeing my mom’s car drive off, seeing the hatred in her eyes, and I felt anger rush through my body. She was my mother. She was supposed to love me no matter what, and my father had let her treat me like crap for years. He’d let her push me away.
Then I remembered Shauna crouched over Ashley, so full of hatred for me that she couldn’t see I was trying to save her daughter, couldn’t see anything past that anger. I didn’t want to be like that. Didn’t want to be like my mother. I wanted to forgive.
I turned to my father. “Do you need a helper?”
*
That afternoon I worked side by side with my dad again, banging nails, and a couple of days later I started a new job at the shelter—one of the long-term people had left. Mike had called and offered me my old job, said Patty was sorry for not believing me, but I said no thanks. I needed a fresh start. His buddy also offered me my boat back, but I was still pissed about how he’d kicked me out, so I passed. It’s good, working at the shelter, hanging out with the dogs. I don’t make much money, but whatever. My lawyer says I can sue for false conviction, but it’ll be a long haul. Meanwhile, I’m just doing my thing. Dad suggested I work with him, but for now I’m just going to help out on weekends while we get to know each other again.
Doug Hicks came by once when I was walking home with Captain. It startled me, seeing the police car sitting in my driveway, couldn’t help but get my heart rate going. He got out.
I said, “Haven’t you heard? I’m a free woman,” and walked past him.
“That’s why I’m here. I want to apologize.”
“For what?” I stepped onto my porch, blocking the steps with Captain by my side, making it clear he wasn’t welcome any farther.
He sat on the hood of his car. “For not believing you seventeen years ago.”
“What about Ryan?”
“Him too. You guys caused us a lot of trouble…”
“It didn’t mean we murdered my sister.”
“No, but with the witnesses, all the evidence? It didn’t look good.”
I leaned against my railing. “Yeah, I know.”
He looked tired as he said, “Frank McKinney, I looked up to him when I started out. Thought he was a great guy—a really good cop.”
“Everyone did.”
“He’s starting to come clean now that he knows he doesn’t have much chance of beating this. Admits things got out of hand with your sister.”
I felt a stab of anger. “He had no business messing around with her. I don’t understand how they even connected.”
“He pulled her boyfriend over for drunk driving one night. Nicole was in the passenger seat.”
“That Dave guy?”
“Looks that way. Nicole didn’t want anyone to know, so he kept it quiet. After that, Frank kept an eye out for her, made sure she stayed away from the boyfriend. They developed a friendship of some sort. They’d drive around, apparently just talking. Then one night the girls had a party at his house, he drove her home, things progressed. He says he was in love with her.”
“She was sixteen.”