She was quiet, also thinking. “What if I can’t get thirty?”
“Then your daughter is going to get a call, then your husband, then the police, and then you’ll be calling a lawyer.”
She sucked in her breath, an angry hiss. “Fine. I’ll meet you.”
“Eleven o’clock tomorrow night. At the north end of the lake, near the cliffs.”
I hung up the phone, then sat in my darkened cabin, my heart thudding. Everything was in play. The only piece missing was Ryan. Maybe he could hide in the woods in case I needed backup. I started to dial his number, then hesitated. I didn’t want him to get in trouble, didn’t want to risk our being seen together. If something went wrong, and it very well could, I didn’t want us both going back to prison. I had to do this alone.
*
The next day, the hours ticked by in slow motion. I went for a walk along the ocean, thinking of Captain, thinking of Ryan. After tonight things were going to get better, or worse, but I was ready for it.
A little before ten, I grabbed my phone, tested the recording application a couple of times, then put a knife I’d bought the day before in my back pocket. If I was caught with it I’d definitely lose my parole, but the hard metal in my pocket felt solid, reassuring. I’d gotten an e-mail back about the landscaping job and had an interview the following day. For a moment I allowed myself to get excited. It sounded great, working outside all day. Then I shut off the thoughts, not wanting to get distracted, not wanting to think about tomorrow or the next day or anything else. I just had to get through tonight. Suzanne had also called and my heart was in my throat the entire time, but she just asked the basic questions.
There was a strong chance that Shauna wasn’t coming alone, that she’d bring Kim and Rachel. Just in case, I wrote a letter explaining everything I’d discovered and who I was meeting, then left it in my cabin. I even wrote out a will, leaving the rest of my pathetic savings and belongings to Ryan, and added a note asking that he adopt Captain and give him the good home he deserved.
After that, I quickly cleaned my room, made my bed, tidied my few belongings, and tried to prepare myself for whatever was coming my way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CAMPBELL RIVER
JULY 2013
It was quiet at the lake—no one was out there at this time of night. I had my windows down and the air smelled of pine needles and lake water. It had changed since I’d been there seventeen years ago, more overgrown, trees reaching for each other over the old roads and almost touching on the other side. I hadn’t wanted to meet Shauna where Nicole had died, still haunted by memories of pulling her naked body from the cold water. Instead, I’d chosen a spot at the far end, high above the lake where the boys used to drop off the cliffs into the water while the girls screamed in excitement. I was there fifteen minutes early, so I sat in my car with the radio playing and observed the dark woods around me, the shapes and shadows. I thought about how Nicole must have felt that night. Alone and scared, waiting for Ryan and me to come back, but instead someone else had shown up.
Then I thought about the brief note I’d left for Ryan at the cabin. Was that really how I wanted to leave things between us if something happened to me? I fingered the disposable phone in my pocket. Should I call him? I dialed his number.
“Toni, is that you?”
This was a mistake. I should’ve left things alone.
“Toni? Are you okay?” His voice sounded scared.
“Yeah, hey, I was just thinking about you, and—” I stopped as my throat tightened.
“Where are you? What’s going on?”
“Nothing … I shouldn’t have called.”
I could feel him thinking, putting things together.
“Are you meeting someone? Where are you?”
“I have to go, call you later.” I hung up the phone. Shit.
A couple of minutes past eleven, Shauna’s headlights crept up the hill and she parked at the other end of the clearing. I dimmed my headlights so we could see each other but not be blinded. She did the same. She stepped out of the passenger side, holding her hands in front, showing me she didn’t have a weapon.
Who was driving? It had to be one of the girls. I hit the recording app on my phone and tucked it into my pocket. I stepped out of my truck, holding my own hands up, though I was well aware of the knife tucked in my back pocket.
I took a couple of steps forward, and so did she. We stopped when we were a few feet apart. “Scared to come alone, Shauna?”
“Where’s this diary, Toni?”