“Oh!” I started again, “And Jason Carter came back into our lives and told me how you helped him come here so he could be with me. Thanks for that by the way, it’s nice to know you two tried to plan out my life without asking me first.”
Sir shook his head, his eyes narrowing slightly, “That was never my intention, from my conversations with Sergeant Carter, it was implied that you shared his feelings, I was simply helping.”
“Helping? Nice.” I had barely found out that Carter had been ranked Sergeant when his service ended. How did Sir know that? Were they still in touch?
“Harper,” Brandon whispered close to my ear, “baby try to calm down. He wants to talk to you.”
“Then talk.” I directed at Sir.
Brandon sighed and ran a hand over his face, keeping it there for a moment. Sir shifted forward in his chair just watching me until my anger slowly started to subside.
“I know I wasn’t the best father, and I know there are a lot of things I should have handled differently since you moved here.” He stopped to clear his throat, “But I always wanted you Harper, you were the only thing that kept me going when Janet di – when she died.”
His eyes watering finished off my almost non-existent anger. My chest ached watching the strongest – emotionally – man I knew slowly start to break down.
“If it weren’t for you, I don’t know how I would have continued my life, but I didn’t know what to do with a baby, especially a girl. Her family hadn’t approved of our relationship, and I’d run away from mine when I joined the military. Your life wasn’t ideal for you, I’m sure, but that’s all I thought I could do for you. You being there was what made me get up every day, and I know I wasn’t around much, but you look and act so much like your mother it killed me to be around you. Not that that constitutes as an excuse, nothing excuses my behavior. It wasn’t your fault you reminded me of her, and I should have embraced it rather than pull away from you.
“When you left for school, I had a hard time adjusting, and hearing your voice over the phone made it harder. I started working more, staying on base longer, and only communicated with you via e-mail. I thought distancing myself further would help me cope with you leaving.”
My head was swimming, I couldn’t believe everything he was telling me. I hadn’t known anything different until I moved here, so I hadn’t hated my life growing up until I started hanging around with the Graysons. I started hating Sir for how distant he’d been, and though I’d always figured it was because of my mother, I had no idea how much her death still affected him to this day. Hearing his words made it difficult to continue hating this man at all. My arms were twitching, wanting to wrap around Sir for the first time in my life, but he didn’t usually say this much to me during one month of living together, and I was afraid if I moved or said anything, it would all stop.
“I will never forgive myself for the way I responded to the e-mail you sent when you found out you were pregnant.” Sir whispered, his tear-filled eyes never leaving mine, “It was the exact same thing Janet’s parents told her when we found out she was pregnant with you. They hated that she was with someone in the military, hated me even though I’d never spoken to, or seen them. We hadn’t been together long, but I knew I wanted to marry her, and the only thing that stopped us was her parents. When they disowned her for not aborting you, we married that next weekend and I’d never been happier. We were so young, she was barely eighteen and I was nineteen, but we were on top of the world and I couldn’t wait for you to come along.
“I was terrified for you when I read that e-mail, and I stupidly thought I could keep you safe if I could stop you from going down the same path your mother and I had been on. As soon as I sent the e-mail, I wanted to die. I couldn’t believe I’d done that, I knew you would never do something so heartless, and that you would probably never forgive me either. Claire Grayson called me that day, and to put it mildly, she didn’t hold anything back. I was glad you had a family that loved you the way I’d never shown you, and figured you not forgiving me would be for the best. So that’s why I stayed silent, even after you all tried to reach me before Liam was born and for your wedding. I thought staying away would be the best thing for you and your new family. Brandon’s letters helped me with that; I was able to know more than I probably would have if we’d continued talking the way we always have. But when he said he wasn’t going to continue writing me, I panicked. I thought I was helping you, but I know all I’ve done was hurt you. I do love you Harper, I’ve always loved you.”