“What do you mean?”
“I love you Kid, but God you’re so dense sometimes. He freaking loves you. And I know you know that. But he’s terrified that he’s going to push you away with his feelings for you and GB. It doesn’t help that you keep telling him you guys can’t be together.” He momentarily took a hand off Bree’s thigh to stop me when my mouth opened, “I know why you say that, and he gets it too. But all of us are just waiting for the day when you guys finally acknowledge the fact that you can’t live without each other. So you’re sitting here telling us you’re afraid of pushing him into something you think he might not want to go into, or you think he shouldn’t have to. And when we go work out or surf, all he can talk about is wanting to take care of you and GB for the rest of your lives, but he’s worried that if he says anything you’ll shut him out for good. You know he told me he’d rather be your friend for the rest of his life than risk not being able to make sure you guys are happy and okay?”
“Oh Brandon.” I whispered. “God I’ve been so selfish, he needs to go live his life. I need to make him leave.”
“No, you’ve been stupid. I’m sorry,” his hands went back in surrender as he looked at Mom, “but someone needs to say it to her. Harper,” he waited until I was looking in his eyes, “you love him, and you want to be with him. He loves you and GB and would give anything to be with you. So stop fighting it, this is like ten times worse than you not telling Chase you were pregnant. And yeah, I knew then too.” Bree, Mom and I all stared at him in shock, “I was with you and Bree all the time, it was obvious right away what was going on.”
There was a knock on the door and the three of them turned to me with smirks on their faces.
“Konrad’s right friend. If you really want this, then tell Brandon. You’re the only one who’s been stopping it.”
I blushed and went to the door, heart fluttering. Brandon's gray eyes and wide smile were all I could look at when I opened the door. He hugged me quickly and crouched down to tell my gummy bear about how he'd gotten his ass handed to him by one of the guys at the gym because he'd been so distracted all morning. An elbow jabbed me and Brandon kissed where he'd felt it, then stood up and searched my eyes. If Konrad was right, and honestly I had no doubt that he was, then I was being stupid for trying to stop this. I loved him and the thought of not being with him for even another moment felt like the purest form of torture. I needed to change this. Fix it. Now.
“Morning.” His warm voice was soft and unsure.
“I'm glad you're here, I was worried after last night you wouldn't come by again.”
“Of course I'm here. Are you okay? After what happened, I mean. If I pushed you too much, you can tell me and I'll back off.”
I smiled and grabbed his arm, “I seem to remember being the one who started it.” Pulling him closer in, I leaned up on my toes and kissed him soundly.
“Harper,” he rested his forehead against mine after we pulled away, “I need you to tell me what you're wanting from this. It would probably be a bad idea for me to just assume what’s happening between us.”
I took a deep breath and ran my fingers across the back of his neck, “I can't imagine my life without you in it, and I'll take that any way I can because I don't deserve you, but –” I huffed out a frustrated laugh, my earlier fears threatening to stop me, “It's not fair to even ask anything from you.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” He kissed my nose then rested his forehead against mine again.
He wants this too. He wants this too. And you’re stopping it. I took another deep breath in and out before talking, “Even though I messed up before, I never stopped loving you, and I want to be with you in every way possible. The way you talk to him, and take care of us even though there's no reason for you to, well, I get flashes of you helping me raise him, as a family. And I want that. I want it bad. But I feel horrible for even telling you this. He's not yours, and what led to me getting pregnant is what broke your heart. So I can't ask you to do that. No matter how much I want it, I can't ask for a future with you because of what I did, it would be selfish.”