He might not be lying about how well he works it, either.
I put the thought out of my head and grab a slice of pizza from the coffee table. Just because Colton and Sable seem to think that a discussion of my potential deflowering is totally appropriate casual conversation is no reason to starve.
12
Cassie
I click through the millionth page of results for adult toy products online. I'm searching for inappropriate gifts. This should be a lot more fun than it is, but after ten pages of bachelorette party items, it got super boring.
Colton sent me a bouquet of penis lollipops, so obviously I can't let that go with absolutely no response.
"Are you searching for sex toys?" Sable asks. She walks in from the kitchen carrying a bag of chips and a bowl of homemade salsa. She peers at my laptop screen, her face over my shoulder. "Because there's this brand of vibrator that's amazing. It's kind of pricey, but –"
"I'm not searching for sex toys for me," I interrupt.
"Ohhh," she says. "So you're going to take my advice and get laid by the football player? I'm so proud of you. Jumping into sex toys right away, though? Maybe you want to take it a little slower. You know, because of the whole virgin thing."
She stage-whispers virgin like it’s a secret.
"I'm not screwing Colton," I say. "I told you that."
"Who are you screwing, then?" Sable asks. She sets the bowl of salsa between us and throws herself back heavily on the couch, tearing into the bag of chips. This girl never stops eating, but you'd never know it. She never gains an ounce. There's just no justice in this world.
"I'm not screwing anyone," I say. "Colton brought those stupid penis lollipops over here because he thinks I'm going to be shocked by his juvenile humor. So I'm looking for an appropriate counter-gift."
"Ooh, I like this! A game of one-ups-manship between two people who clearly just want to bone each other but can’t say it in a mature, adult way so they say it through gag gifts."
"It's absolutely nothing like that," I say. "It stops here. I just need to find something to get him back."
"You should get him a blow-up doll," Sable suggests.
"I'm not bringing a blow up doll to his house."
"Send it to him," Sable says.
"No blow-up doll. Too pricey."
"A pocket pussy," Sable says. She flips the channel on the TV and casually pops a tortilla chip into her mouth like she just said something about the weather and not pussy.
"Should I even ask what that is?"
"Search it online," Sable says. "It's perfect. He got you dicks, you get him a pussy. I mean, it's obvious both of you really want to give each other the real thing, but if you insist on this back-and-forth instead of verbalizing your wants, then by all means continue."
"I do not want to give him the real thing," I protest. I'm not sure if I'm lying more for her benefit or for my own. I look at the search results. "Oh my God."
"You found them," Sable notes, distracted by reality TV. "Did we miss an episode of this or something? Did this bitch get brought back on the show?"
"I don't know," I say absently, far more fixated on the listing of rubber pussies on my laptop. They're horrifying, but cheaper than a blow-up doll, which makes them perfect. "They're… kind of gross."
"Why?" Sable asks. "They're just a jerk-off thing. Like a vibrator. Funny and more useful than your dick bouquet. If I were Colton, I'd have gotten you a bouquet of vibrators so you could chill the fuck out. Oh my God. This girl is crying on a date. That's just embarrassing."
I throw a decorative pillow at Sable.
Would Colton actually use the pocket pussy? An image of him sliding it onto his hard cock flashes into my head and I have to force it away. Why the hell am I thinking about Colton jerking off?
I shift uncomfortably on the sofa because of the tingle that shoots through me at the thought. Do not think about Colton jerking off. It's a funny gag gift. That's all it is. Getting him back for those stupid dick lollipops.
* * *
I'm running late, taking the steps to the academic center two at a time. The assistant coach wants a "status update" on Colton. I guess he wants to personally make sure Colton is progressing with tutoring.
I'm totally nervous about meeting with the assistant coach. He's slightly frightening, and if he doesn't think Colton is progressing, I'm probably fired. Which would suck big-time.
And if he found out I sent my student a pocket pussy? I can't even begin to imagine.
My phone vibrates in my bag. I scramble for it as I walk down the corridor toward the athletic center. This place is a freaking maze. I can't remember where Coach Walker’s office is.
I slide my finger across the phone screen as I crane my neck to get a look around the corner.
Hilarious gift, Teach. I used it last night.
It's followed up with a second text:
Ask me what I thought about