My eyebrows shot up. She shook her head, a horrified expression falling over her face.
“Oh! No! God no. I just respected him so much. If he were still here, he would have loved you.” Her eyes fell to her hands before coming back to me. “Anyway, I got my first acting gig on a small TV show, and Hector was supportive. There through it all. We have great memories together.” Her smile fell, and suddenly, the room felt smaller than what it was a moment ago. “Two years later was the first time he cheated on me, and I’m not telling you this because I think my son is the same, I’m telling you this because Bishop is a lot more like his grandfather than he can see. I thank the Lord every day that Bishop got twelve good years from his pops, because he planted the seed of good in his heart. Yes, Bishop is cold and calculated like his father, but I see the way he looks at you, and it’s not the way Hector used to look at me. It was how his pops looked at his gran.” She swiped away a stray tear and reached for my hand. I didn’t know what to say, I was rendered speechless.
“His pops may have planted the seed of good in Bishop’s heart, but you water it every single second that you’re in his life, and for that, I will always be on your side, Madison.”
Emotion caught in my throat and my tummy flipped inside. “Thank you,” I whispered harshly.
“No need to thank me!” She swatted at me playfully.
“No, I do,” I answered, fighting the tears. “Just before you walked in here, I was having an internal battle with myself. I loved my mom, and when I thought she died, I mourned her death every single day. I couldn’t imagine my life without her, but I dragged my feet through it every day, waiting for the ache to subside. Anyway.” I pulled myself away from the downer I was headed to. “When I found out I was adopted, she was alive, and that she had slept with Bishop, I lost it. I lost all and every single feeling I had for her. Now I can’t even stomach to be in the same room as her, let alone look at her. So just before you came in here, I was thinking about the word ‘Women’ and what that might mean to some people. I think of power every time I see it, and I don’t know why because the only mother I had ever known was a fraud and a skank, but I knew it when I looked at you.”
She smiled at me sweetly. “Well, thank you, but I’m not that strong.”
I snorted. “You’re married to Hector…”
“True!” She nodded. “About your mom, your adoptive one, when and if you want to learn about your birth mom, I’ll be here, but your adoptive mom… she’s a piece of work.”
I tucked my feet under my butt. “Tell me more.”
She laughed and got more comfortable. “Nothing too juicy. She was the mean girl at school. Everyone was scared of her—except me. I was her sworn enemy. She hated Elena too, and Elena is my best friend. She was the wild, crazy...” she paused and thought for a second. “Elena was my Tate.”
I chuckled, my hand coming to my mouth. “Did you have a Tillie?”
Her smile dropped. “I did.”
“Did?”
Her eyes flicked to the door. “Let’s just say that it didn’t end well, and it’s still not going well.”
“Sounds like a Tillie,” I smiled. “I don’t know what to do about her.”
Scarlet stood from my bed and patted my leg. “Everything will be revealed soon, I promise, but know this. Tillie loves you, Madison. She’s a good friend. She’s not like my Tillie. Maybe while we’re here you could spend some time with her? Hear what happened?”
“I’m that obvious, huh?”
She inched her fingers close. “Little bit.”
I sighed. “Ok. I’ll make the effort tomorrow.” She leaned down and kissed my head like a mom would kiss her child goodnight.
“Sweet dreams.” Then she walked out of the bedroom and left me to my thoughts. I didn’t think I was being that obvious about my reservations with Tillie. It wasn’t that I was even upset with her, well, maybe I was. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt hurt that she didn’t come to me, I guess. She should’ve known I would have done everything for her, but at the same time, she would do the same, I guess. If I was in her shoes and I knew telling her something would put her in danger, would I do it? No. Not at all. And with that thought bouncing around in my head, I tucked myself under the blankets and flicked off my light.
I opened my messages to see (0). Bishop still hadn’t replied to my text from earlier, but I sent him another one anyway.
Goodnight x
Then I tucked my phone under my pillow and let my mind sink into unconsciousness.
“This air BNB is nice. Why did I think those things were old and run down?” she asked around a spoonful of granola.
Tillie bounced Micaela on her lap softly, tossing her fruit around in her bowl.
“You ok?” I asked her, taking a small bite out of my pancake. Scarlet had to go to work early this morning so we ordered breakfast online. Buttermilk pancakes, fresh fruit, crème fraiche, and warm chocolate milk. Spiked with whiskey. I was starting to worry about Tate’s alcohol intake.
Tillie looked at me. “Not really. We haven’t talked much—”
“—I know, I’m sorry. There’s just so much going on.” I got to my feet and rounded the table. “God, she looks so much like Nate.”
Tillie chuckled, a small smile coming to her face making her deep dimple pop. “She does, right?”
“Can I hold her?”
“Of course!” Tillie turned and handed her to me.
“Wow! She’s heavier than she looks!”
“That, is like her mama,” Tillie chuckled back.
“Lies,” I whispered against her small head that smelled of milky soap suds.
I went back to my seat and continued to slowly rock her with one hand and pick my food with the other. “So when you want to tell me anything, you can, Tillie. We’re your friends. Ok?”
Tate agreed beside me. “Yes, we’re your friends, but while we’re on the friend thing, um, about Nate…”
Tillie shook her head, cutting Tate off. “Don’t. It’s okay, Tate, and he’s all yours. I just hope he won’t hate me all of her life, if you know what I mean.”
“He’ll come around.” I looked up at her. “I know him, and he’ll come around.” I don’t bother to brush off her giving Tate the green flag on Nate, because I didn’t want to hurt Tate.
“No, nope. I won’t go there again,” Tate said.
“So anyway.” Tillie shuffled in her seat. “I’m ready to spill everything. So the night at the cabin, after Nate and I had, you know, he went downstairs to make us something to eat. I got up to wander around the room to burn time and ended up finding myself in the closet, where I found a small lock box. I opened it and all these photos were in there—that I still have. So I came across this one, and it was a woman. Young, tender, beautiful. She had long blonde hair and gentle but mischievous eyes. She was extremely young. There was a man standing beside her, double her size with his arm draped around her shoulder. There was something about the woman that drew me to her. She felt—familiar. In the photo, she was visibly pregnant, and I turned it over to see if there were any names on the back, and there was.” She took a deep breath. “It said Katsia Steprum—pregnant with expected due date: November 18th. I remember just… being rooted to the ground. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t think, and I didn’t know why. So her expected due date was my birthday? I mean, how many times do babies come on their due date…”
“Jesus…” I whispered, chills breaking out over my skin. “Keep going.”
“So I put the rest of the photos into my back pocket and waited on the bed for Nate to get back to ask him about the photo I found. When he came back in, carrying two plates filled with food, his eyes dropped to the photo that was in my hand and then he cussed, his head tilting up to the ceiling…
“Fuck.” Nate walked farther into the bedroom and kicked the door closed so hard a photo fell from the wall and smashed.