“Quit feeling sorry for yourself, Mia, I can see it on your face.”
“Let it go, Jenny, it’s done. I’ll be a good friend to Will and to you. That’s what I’ll concentrate on; I’ve been selfish and it’s not right.”
She gave my hand a squeeze and turned up the radio; we were silent the rest of the way home. When I got back to the apartment, there was a Will note on the counter:
HEY MIA, HOPE YOU HAD FUN IN THE HAMPTONS. I’M STAYING AT DUSTIN’S TONIGHT; CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. MUAH, WILBUR P.S. THE ASSCLOWNS ARE PLAYING TOMORROW NIGHT AT DROPZONE IN PARK SLOPE. YOU SHOULD CHECK THEM OUT. It was no doubt one of Will’s secret shows. As much as I loved seeing him play, I knew Audrey would probably be there and the whole thing made me feel like crap about myself, but I’d told Jenny I would be a good friend so I guess I had to go.
Track 11: Benediction
The next night I rode the subway alone to Park Slope. I must have missed my stop or looked at the map wrong because I ended walking about two miles to the damn bar. Once I reached the street it was on, I saw the marquee from the corner. It read:
TONIGHT ONLY… WILBUR GROWS A BEARD I laughed. Will was getting really out of hand with the name thing. I thought with a name like that he was either paranoid or he wanted to prepare everyone for a really boring show. Inside the bar I noticed he was already onstage, mid song. Dustin from The Ivans was also onstage playing a singular snare drum. I spotted Audrey at the front of the crowd, standing next to a busty blonde. They were swaying to the music, dressed in short dresses with stiletto heels. I rolled my eyes and thought what am I doing here?
I took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink and then turned my stool to face the stage. When the song was over, Dustin jumped down and Will exchanged his acoustic guitar for the electric. He approached the microphone. “This next song… it’s a slow one.” And then he tore into a bluesy guitar riff. It was the familiar melody I remembered from one day at Sam’s when I heard it through the ceiling. It was the song I saw The Ivans play when Pete said he needed to write lyrics for it. When Will began to sing the words, I knew immediately it was my song…
With my eyes wide open
I see the secrets in the rain
I see the loss, see the pain
I see you’ve lost your way again No lines drawn
No boundaries made
Dance with me tonight, pretty baby
and let me pray Don’t let me hear you cry
Starve your dream
Feed your fear
I’ll hold you forever here I need the rain to cleanse my soul
It tortures me, it’s makes me whole
I need the rain, I need it all No lines drawn
No boundaries made
Just stay with me tonight, pretty baby
And let me pray With his eyes closed and his head tilted up to the heavens, Will sang the song like it was a holy benediction. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I wiped them away frantically. When he finally opened his eyes, he was looking right at me. I think it startled him, his eyes opened wider and his head shot back slightly. He didn’t smile, he just mouthed “Hi” at me and I did the same back to him.
I glanced over to Audrey; she was laughing at Dustin who was climbing awkwardly back onstage. I didn’t know if I wished she had caught my exchange with Will or if I was relieved that she hadn’t. On the last song, Dustin played the spoons into a microphone; I have to admit he was quite the gifted spoon player.
After the show as I headed toward the stage, Audrey spotted me. “Hey, Mia! Come over here. This is my friend Kara, she’s Russian… from Russia.” Audrey was a little too chipper for my taste, but really how could I complain? Will could have done worse.
I stuck my hand out. “Oh you’re one of those Russians from Russia?” I smiled. Audrey didn’t get it. “It’s nice to meet you.” Kara shook my hand and smiled.
“We’re gonna take Kara to Sokurov in the village. You should come with us, Frank has the limo.” Two instantaneous questions ran through my mind. What is Sokurov? And why does she know Frank?
I pondered the questions while Audrey looked at me like, hello? And then I felt someone’s breath on my neck. “Come with us.” It was Will’s voice, low and sexy. Ahhh, why does he do that to me? I turned to face him, his lips were pressed together into a tiny smile, but his eyes had a look familiar to me. It was the listening-to-God look and it made my legs tremble.