Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage to let it all go I lost it and stalked over to stand in front of him. He immediately stopped playing. I pointed and shouted in the most accusatory voice I could muster, “You can sing! Will Ryan, you can sing! What the hell?” It wasn’t really a question. Why was he screwing around with that lame band? Why was he keeping his amazing talent from everyone? My inner thoughts were spilling out. I kept flailing the bag of chicken around. “The universe needs you, Will!” I said desperately.
He quickly unplugged his guitar. “I’m still trying to figure it all out. Please just let this go.” He never made eye contact with me as he hurriedly threw his guitar in the case, grabbed his keys, and went to the door. He turned toward me with a wounded expression before looking down and muttering, “I’m not sure about anything.” When he looked up, his eyes kissed mine. “You get that, right?”
Of course I got it.
Back at Kell’s, Jenny was looking through bridal magazines… again. “What do you think about this kind of arrangement for the head table?”
“It gorgeous,” I said unenthusiastically.
“What’s wrong, girl?”
My mind was going a million miles an hour. “Did you know Will before? He said Tyler was his best friend.”
She chuckled. “No, Mia. I swear it’s a total coincidence. Last year Will and Tyler met each other in a web design class at East Village Community College. Will ran into Tyler at the café one day and we put it all together. They’ve been hanging out a lot lately. I guess Tyler is helping Will do a website for some project.” She paused and then said, “Oh, I wanted to let you know we asked Will to play a few acoustic songs at the wedding.”
Will took a computer class?
“I think that’s great, he’s a very talented musician.” I paused. “Hey, did you know Will can sing, too? I mean, like really well?”
“Yeah, Tyler mentioned something about that. I guess The Ivans broke up and Will has been doing solo gigs at little dive bars and cafés.”
“What? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Well you don’t exactly act like you like Will.”
“Why, because I didn’t sleep with him?”
“No. That’s not why. Honestly, Mia, you kind of act like Will’s a loser. He told Tyler that he stays away from the apartment at night because he feels like he’s getting in your way when Robert’s over. He cares about you, Mia. He’s a good roommate and a good friend. None of us can understand why you’re so resistant toward him.”
“Well, he’s been leaving me rude notes and the other day he called me evil. And… and he… he… he brings women over!” I exclaimed.
“You made it pretty clear that he’s not your type. He’s a man; do you expect him not to date? Anyway, he said you got all bent over the fact that he brought a friend over. I’m sorry, I love you girl, but I think it’s a little unfair the way you treat him.” Jenny’s words ruined me because they were true. I tried hopelessly to explain myself.
“Will has a lot of good qualities, Jenny. I hope he and I can remain friends. I want desperately to get along with him, but I’m not a fan of the whole starving-artist thing. The musician who has casual sex with all types of women, it just seems trite. I admire a man who has hopes and dreams for his future.”
“Every man has hopes and dreams for his future, Will is no exception. You know so little about him and you’ve already concluded that he’s worthless because he plays a guitar. That seems so hypocritical of you. What comes to mind when I think of trite is the girl who spends one vapid evening after another eating expensive meals and talking about money with her rich, investment-banker boyfriend.”
“Why are you trying to hurt me, Jenny?”
“I’m trying to help you. I see you meandering aimlessly through your life.” She brought me into her arms for long hug. “Every time I look at you, I see the pain from losing Pops. I know you’re still grieving. I know Will reminds you of him, but I don’t know why that scares you.” I began sobbing in her arms. I needed to cry. “You’ll figure it out, Mia, and I’ll be here for you. I think maybe you still have more to learn about Pops and yourself.” She paused, then whispered, “And Will.”
Jenny’s decisions about marriage, friends, and career always seemed so rash to me, yet she was sure of everything. Every word she said was the truth. I would discover more. Once I collected myself, I took a seat at the bar and faced the window. Martha came over and brought me some tea. She had been in the kitchen, so I knew she’d heard my conversation with Jenny. “Thanks, Martha.”
“Hi, Mia Pia.” She took a seat next to me and held my hand as we stared out the window.
“I’m so confused.”