“No?”
I shook my head and sipped my champagne. It didn’t make me feel any better. So there, he didn’t know everything. “So if this thing is a decade old, then why are we here now? After all this time?”
“You’ve always been a loner. Self-contained.”
“True.”
“But, I don’t know. It just seems like there’s something different about you, ever since you’ve been back,” he said. “Never struck me before that you weren’t happy with your life, and how it was going…”
“Yes, but ten years?”
“You’re really stuck on that, aren’t you? Let me explain,” he said, taking a deep breath. “You see, when I first started to work with the boys, I was all about the job. A lot of people think that’s the only way to do what I do. Total commitment. Seven days a week around the clock. Don’t even think of having a life of your own, let alone a relationship. Which was fine in my thirties. You were still wound up over Davie and needed time to get yourself sorted. So I put it off. Told myself it was the right thing to do.”
“Wouldn’t getting involved with me when I was working for them too have been a conflict of interest or something?”
He lifted one big shoulder. “Possibly. But I’m pretty sure we could have worked it out.”
“Huh.”
“Then you up and left, moved to New York. That was a bit of a shock, honestly.”
“Was it?”
“Yeah. Though you still came back now and then. Plus there’d be shows on the East Coast and you’d usually turn up,” he said. “Thing was, when you were around, you were still angry. All pissed off about David and Ev getting together and being all happy and in love. So obviously, it still wasn’t the right time. But that’s okay. When it came to you, I was used to being patient.”
I drank my champagne. David had pretty much written a whole album dedicated to how much I sucked. While we’d both had our faults, I couldn’t exactly say he was wrong. So the less my ex got mentioned the better.
Sam smiled. “Now, however, things feel different.”
“In what way?”
“Well, these days when you see Dave, you mostly just seem awkward and a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.”
My spine snapped straight. “No, I don’t.”
“No? Okay. So I’m wrong.”
“You don’t really believe that. You’re just trying to pacify me.”
“Here’s what I believe…” He took another drink from my glass. “Martha, dearest, I’m not going to argue with you about shit that doesn’t matter.”
I just blinked.
“If you say you’re not worried about being around Dave, then great. I’m delighted to hear it,” he said. “All I care about is that you’re obviously no longer hung up on the guy.”
“Of course I’m not.”
“And then there’s the other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“The part where you haven’t screeched at me to let you go or even attempted to climb off my lap since I put you there a good…oh, I’d say four or five minutes ago now.”
I froze.
“Rather important, don’t you think?”
“I did think about it.”
“Screeching or escaping?” he asked calmly.
“Escaping.”
“But you didn’t.” He pressed a soft damp kiss to my forehead. “Very brave of you, Martha.”
“Why do I always feel like a child throwing a tantrum around you?”
“I definitely don’t think of you as a child.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Your huge hard-on is sticking into my hip.”
“Like I said, I’ve been waiting a long time. Just ignore it. God knows, I’m trying to,” he said. “As for the other, you do enjoy a good tantrum from time to time. But I rather enjoy your sharp edges. Keeps me on my toes.”
I finished the champagne and held the glass out for a refill.
“You have tomorrow off, don’t you?” he asked, pouring the bottle with precision. “Because you’re going to have a headache in the morning if you keep drinking.”
I chugged the champagne like a lady. “Fill it again.”
“I am your servant in all things.”
“Bullshit.”
“You’d be bored out of your beautiful brains in under two minutes if I was the sort of man you could walk all over.” He chuckled. “Maybe less wriggling around on my dick unless you’d like to up the timeline for things happening between us. I’m amenable. It’s up to you really. Just a polite warning.”
I froze. “Hold up. The timeline?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you actually just say there was a timeline?”
“What?” he asked, seemingly perplexed.
“Fucking oversized ex-Navy SEAL alpha jerk control freak,” I grumbled. “You have, haven’t you? You’ve actually planned out to the day exactly how you think things are going to go down between us?”
At this, the man seemed to hesitate for once. Wise of him really. “I wouldn’t dare assume when it came to you, my love.”
“Oh, you liar. Let me guess, first a date. Somewhere nice, an intimate evening at a good restaurant.” I tapped a fingernail against my lips. “A few romantic moves, some hand-holding and deep and meaningful looks over dinner maybe. Then bang! Sex.”
“Ah, well…”
“I mean, you might have ideally wanted to wait until date two or three before taking things into the bedroom. But you have been waiting almost a decade as the boner sticking into my side keeps reminding me. So yes, we’ll fuck after the first date.” I saluted him with my glass of champagne before downing some more. My throat was so dry and my adrenaline levels high. It couldn’t be more necessary. “Around about that time, you’ll have a word with the guys to make sure they’re all aware that you and I are together and everyone’s fine with it. Because you’re all such a well-honed pack of male idiots who’ve been running together for so long.”
He just looked at me. The man had an excellent poker face. But I could tell…
“Yes, you’ll probably go out for a beer with my brother to start the whole advanced male bonding becoming a family one day thing. After that, you’ll want us to starting thinking about moving in together, getting our own place,” I said. Because that’s exactly what everyone else would do. And it might have been nice to be like everyone else, but I’d never quite fit no matter how hard I tried. Attempting normal would inevitably end in ruin. “Then, give it…oh say three months, we’ll go on vacation somewhere nice like Hawaii and you’ll pop the question. You’ve already saved up for the ring, haven’t you? Probably even got one picked out somewhere. Admit it, you do, don’t you?”
His lips stayed firmly shut.
“I’m not the only one who’s been paying attention, Sam,” I said. “Get you started and you’re like a robot with a stick up its ass with all of the organizing and planning everything. But I’m neither your job nor a combat mission, buddy.”
“Can you put a stick up a robot’s ass? I guess it depends on the type of robot really, doesn’t it?”
“Shut up. You know what I mean.”
“So you don’t like Hawaii then?” he asked mildly.
“I don’t like being managed.”
“I see.”
“If we’re doing this—” I said, setting my glass aside and wriggling my way off his lap. Because I would wriggle if I damn well wanted to. His arms reluctantly let me go, his gaze tense and watchful. “—and that is a definite if—then I’m in charge.”
“You’re in charge,” he repeated rather more slowly.
“Is that going to be a problem?”
He paused. “Absolutely not.”
“That’s the correct answer.”