“Okay,” she replied and I smiled to myself. She might struggle in the domestic department but at least she tried. One day she would make someone a good wife because she truly loved to take care of those around her.
I finished my shower and took some time to blow dry my hair and fix my makeup. Normally I didn’t spend a lot of time on this but today I was feeling down, and on down days I liked to look my best. I looked in the mirror and didn’t mind what I saw. Even though I had done some hard living, I had come through pretty much unscathed. Since giving up alcohol I had made an effort to live pretty healthily and I was fit and strong thanks to yoga and crossfit. I had fairly flawless skin that I had inked a few times with images and words that held significance to the highs and lows of my life. The most prominent reminder of the shit I had done in my life was the long scar that Rob had inflicted on me; it glared at me every damn day, but I didn’t begrudge it. Whenever Serena or Blake suggested I ink over it, I always said no; I needed to see it to keep me focused on a path that would take me far away from where I once was.
“I’m ready,” I announced as I headed into the kitchen to grab my lunch out of the fridge. Serena and I had a shift together today which I was really looking forward to.
“Let me just put my hair up and then we can go,” she replied and slapped my ass on her way out of the kitchen.
I laughed and shook my head at her. Yep, it was going to be a good day.
Five minutes later, Serena reappeared with her hair done. She tilted her head and smiled at me; I knew she was sussing out my mental state. “How you doing, chica?” she finally asked.
“I’m not sure,” I was honest, “The fact that Nix is involved in all of this worries me. Scott didn’t give me a lot of info to go on but I can only imagine it is bad. Nix is a motherfucker you don’t want to mess with.”
Serena nodded, “Yeah, I’ve worked that out from some of the stuff you’ve told me in the past. How the hell did you end up dating him?”
I sighed. “I was so messed up and pissed off with J, and Nix was just there one night and it felt like a good idea at the time. Dad and I weren’t really speaking and I was annoyed at him too and I knew that being with Nix would shit him. I think I kinda did it to get back at all of them; J, Dad and Scott.”
This was the most I had spoken about my relationship with Nix to Serena and she encouraged me to keep sharing. “So you hooked up with him and then kept seeing him?”
“Yeah, he was really into it. Me, not so much but it had been six months since I broke up with J and I was lonely. I was drinking pretty heavily by then and Nix was the only one who didn’t give me grief for it,” I gently shook my head as the memories came flooding back. “When I was drinking I was a lot easier to boss around, that’s probably why he liked me drinking. I just didn’t give enough of a shit about anything and went along with whatever he wanted.”
Serena moved closer to me and touched me gently on the arm; on my scar. “Did Nix do this to you?”
“No.” Shit, this conversation was making me feel ill. The familiar feelings of self hatred washed over me, my hands started to feel tingly and my head was beginning to spin. Nausea took hold of my stomach and I actually thought I might vomit. No-one besides J and Scott knew how I got my scar and it was something that I never wanted Serena or anyone else to find out.
“Hey honey, are you okay?” Serena sensed my distress and directed me to sit on the couch. She ran into the kitchen and got me a drink of water which I took gratefully from her.
I downed the water in one go and focused on my breathing. Serena was now sitting beside me and rubbing my back. I knew she was worried but I didn’t have it in me just yet to ease her concerns. All I could think about was that my past was finally going to catch up with me. Fuck Nix. Why did he have to come back into my life? He wasn’t the reason for all the crap that had happened but he was the climax to it all. And now he was going to be the catalyst for it all flaring up again.
Serena looked at her watch. “We should probably get to work otherwise Gina will be in a foul mood with us all day for being late.”
I looked at her and nodded my head and gave her a small smile. “Thanks,” I whispered, grateful that she knew I needed this conversation to be over.
***
“Oh, god these shoes are killing my feet,” Serena complained as she fell onto the couch and ripped her shoes off.
It had been a long day at work and the fact that we both wore heels to work even though we were on our feet for nearly eight hours a day didn’t help. A girl’s gotta look good though and heels really help you rock what you’ve got. It was Friday night and we both had the weekend off and were in the process of making plans for the weekend. Blake had rounded everyone up to come to his restaurant, Scarlett, for dinner tonight. Tomorrow was gearing up to be a girl’s day out shopping. Sunday was still open for discussion but I was hoping for some time in the sun.