Em sighed, brushing her skirt to smooth the wrinkles in it. “But I did pay. You kept a leash on me so tight, all I wanted to do was get away. You smothered me with your words from the divine and this righteous path you claim we should all be walkin’. All because you did wrong. You veered off the path, Mama. You were cold and disapproving, and while I want to hate you for all of it right now, I don’t. I just don’t know you. I don’t know anything.”
Clora’s face, puffy from tears, a startling contrast to her stern facade, made Em sad. “I didn’t want you to make the same mistakes I made.”
Em looked down at her mother—she looked so small now. Small and afraid. “And I didn’t, did I? You sure taught me. But while you were teachin’ me, you stole my joy. You made me afraid. You kept me from making the same mistakes you made, but at the same time, you made me resent you, and I won’t allow you to do that to my boys. Hear me now, Mama—you will never bring your negativity around them again, or you’ll never see them again. I will not have you taint them with your bitter regret the way you tainted me. Life is meant for livin’, enjoying the people you love, laughter, friends and the freedom to do all those things. Maybe you should try it.” Then she held her hand out to her mother and waited.
Clora reached up and let Em pull her from the floor. When they were eye to eye, she felt like she was seeing her mother for the first time. Really seeing this person who no longer had to live with a painful secret—who’d let the cat out of the bag after so long and had nothing else to keep her warm. “I have to go now, Mama, but I need you to think about what I said. Really think about it, and know I meant it.”
Clora gave her a brief nod, a small indication she was going to reevaluate.
Em gave her a quick hug, feeling the tremble of her mother’s shoulders. “Bye, Mama.”
She took a long breath before making her way out of the kitchen and out the front door, leaving behind the place where she’d earned her own angry resentments. She clung to the railing along the front porch, keeping her head high for all the eyes of Plum Orchard to see.
A car came to an almost screaming halt at the curb. “Dixie?”
The passenger door opened and a long leg attached to a cowboy boot touched the curb.
Em froze. Jax. At her mother’s house? Why was he here?
She didn’t have time to think about it before he was pulling her into his arms in front of everyone peeking out of their windows. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” he muttered against her hair, tightening his hold on her.
Jax’s words, his gentle admonishment, made her crumble. Tears began falling down her face as she clung to him—right there on her mother’s front porch.
Huge, gulping sobs of relief escaped her throat. “Don’t cry, honey. Jesus. Please don’t cry. I know everything. I swear to you, I won’t let Clifton take the boys. I know a lot of people. They’ll help. But don’t leave, Em. Don’t run away from this. Stay here and fight with me.”
Em sniffed against the soft leather of his jacket, resting her cheek on his chest, letting go of the tight rein she’d kept her emotions in check with. “This is certainly crossing the line between nothing personal and personal, Sir Hawthorne,” she teased.
The best part about that was she didn’t care. She didn’t care if everyone saw her with Jax. She didn’t care if they disapproved. She was going to do what she’d told her mother to do. Live.
He rested his chin on top of her head. “I see your personal and raise you a possible monogamous commitment.”
“High stakes indeed,” she said on a happy giggle. “This coming from a man who didn’t want any personal entanglements, either.”
“That was stupid. I was stupid. I apologize for my stupid. Can you ever forgive all that stupid?”
“Can you forgive mine?”
“We could have a round of forgiveness sex. That might help. Is that on your list?”
“Isn’t that the same as makeup sex?”
“It’s very similar, in that sex is involved. It’s just sex with the promise of maybe a movie with our kids? Dinner?”
All her doubts disappeared at the mention of their children. “What are you suggesting, Jax Hawthorne?”
“I’m suggesting you let me tell you all my dark secrets.”
“Like?”
“Like, Maizy isn’t my biological child and while Reece is her biological mother, she had Maizy with my best friend Jake when she left me for him. Jake died just after Reece ran away and named me her guardian.”
Em wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her nose in his chest. Jax was just a little more amazing than she’d given him credit for. And she didn’t care who Maizy belonged to. She didn’t care how she’d come to be Jax’s. She only cared that Jax was the kind of man—a wonderful one—who’d raise someone else’s child. “So that makes her less yours? What is it you’re trying to say here, Hawthorne?”
“You’re not surprised she isn’t mine?”