But was that all Jackson had been? A safe haven? Had she even loved him, or had she loved the idea that she had someone to come home to, who would take care of her?
She tried to understand her feelings. Was she hurt, angry about being deceived, or heartbroken? Then it hit her. She hadn’t loved Jackson. The distress came from something else. With Jackson gone, she no longer felt safe and protected. That was what was missing. The lovely bubble world she’d created for herself had cracked, and just like when her father had left, the snow swirled around her in a blizzard.
She took another sip of wine. Snow had accumulated on the lower half of the windows, but she could see fuzzy lights in the neighboring buildings and street. It was only a little after five, though it felt much later.
Maybe she’d light a fire in the fireplace. Jackson usually did it with great showmanship, as though it were a tricky, subtle task, but she could get a flame going just as well and with a lot less fuss. She’d order a pizza and finish the wine while she binge-watched The Gilmore Girls, the mother-daughter TV series she had loved as a girl and had occasionally watched with her mother when Mama wasn’t working late. It wasn’t a cop-out, or reality avoidance. There was nothing wrong with spending a few hours in the safe, fictitious world of Stars Hollow.
She was alone, with no one to take care of her. But that was okay—she could take care of herself. Nothing was missing as long as she had herself.
Her cell phone rang. Our love is stronger than the pain. The words to the song Mama had requested as her ringtone on Aubrey’s phone years ago. But the old, sad ballad from the sixties no longer seemed fitting for her mother, who was happily engaged to Jonathan and had surely gotten over her husband’s betrayal by now.
Maybe it was time for a new ringtone.
For both of them.
“Hi, Mama.” She brightened her voice so she wouldn’t worry her mother. “Are you enjoying Ethan?”
Her mother was panting, as if she couldn’t catch her breath.
Aubrey sat up straight. “Mom. Are you okay?”
“He’s gone.”
Aubrey’s heart skipped. “Who’s gone?”
“Ethan,” she said, her voice breaking. “Ethan’s missing.”
CHAPTER 3
Aubrey hurried to the taxi stand at Miami International Airport, dazed by the midday heat and humidity. She hadn’t slept since getting the phone call from her mother the previous evening. She had quickly packed a bag and called Trish, who’d promised to arrange for someone to cover Aubrey’s classes while she was gone.
It had taken almost two hours to get to Boston’s Logan Airport on the snow-clogged roads. All flights had been canceled due to the storm, so she’d camped out in the terminal hoping to get on the next flight out. Throughout the night, she had texted her mother for updates, until Mama had finally written, I’ll let you know the minute I hear anything.
This morning, flights had resumed out of Boston. Aubrey had sent her mother one more text as she’d boarded the flight to Miami. Getting on a plane. Any news?
Her mother hadn’t answered, and Aubrey had spent the next three and a half hours trying not to think about what might have happened to Ethan, praying this was nothing more than an innocent scare. That her nephew had wandered away from the carnival but would have been found, frightened but safe, by the time she landed in Miami.
She checked her phone again as she waited in the taxi line in the stifling heat. Nothing from her mother, but her heart skipped when she saw a text from Kevin. She skimmed it. He and Kim had made it out of New York before the storm in Kim’s parents’ private jet. They were in Coconut Grove at Mama’s house. The rest of her brother’s message hit her like a punch to the gut. Ethan still missing. How could I have trusted her with him? I should have known better.
Oh, Kev. It wasn’t Mama’s fault.
She wished she could convince him that their mother wasn’t the villain he believed she was. But Aubrey had been coming to her defense ever since Mama had missed Kevin’s wedding, and that had only further strained her once-close relationship with her big brother.
It had taken Kevin eight years to finally forgive Mama.
Now Ethan had disappeared on her watch.
Aubrey started to text her brother back to tell him Mama wasn’t to blame, then changed her mind. This was a conversation they needed to have in person.
She reached the front of the taxi line, climbed into the waiting cab, and threw her small suitcase and winter coat on the seat beside her. After giving the driver her mother’s address, she leaned back, the wool from her sweater stinging her like a hair shirt. She had spent the last few hours focused on getting to Miami, afraid if she thought about Ethan she might break down, but now she was almost home. She pulled up the photo on her phone of Ethan and her mother, taken a few minutes before he disappeared.
Ethan resting happily in the crook of his grandmother’s arm, a crowd of carnival-goers behind them.
The first and only photo of the two together.
She was struck by the resemblance between grandmother and grandson. The same large, fudge-brown eyes, the same dimples as they smiled, the same heart-shaped faces.
Before this weekend, Mama hadn’t known this beautiful, delightful child, but Aubrey had. She’d enjoyed Ethan several times a year ever since he was a baby, taking him to Central Park, boating on the lake, visiting the animals at the zoo, and even teaching him how to ice-skate a few weeks ago.
Where was her nephew now?
A dark memory surfaced.