“It’s unusual how a good looking guy like you isn’t much into girls,” Lucy said as she sipped strawberry juice from a straw. “Are you gay?”
“No. I’m a half—angel—“Loki stopped, almost biting his tongue. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about his past, which ironically he couldn’t even remember. “I’m a vampire hunter,” Loki said a little louder, hoping she didn’t notice what he had just sad.
“Does that mean there are no gay vampire hunters?” Lucy teased him.
“Why are we having this conversation?”
“Why does anyone have a conversation? We’re all talking monkeys in this world,” Lucy suggested. “It’s just that you look more like a…huntsman with this kilt than a vampire hunter.”
“I love the huntsman,” Loki said casually, gazing at the dancing crowd. “In fact, he is the only fairy tale character I respect. He spared Snow White’s life when he could’ve just killed her.”
“But he didn’t kiss her,” Lucy winked.
“I don’t believe there’s a true love’s kiss.”
“At least we agree on that part,” Lucy raised her glass.
A guy disguised as Robin Hood approached Lucy, probably wanting to ask her to dance. Before he opened his mouth, she held her finger, with manicured fake fingernails, up to his nose, still sipping her drink. “Hit the road, loser,” she waved him away like an annoying mosquito.
“So,” Loki said, pointing at a different boy in the middle of the dance floor. “Is that the boy—I mean the vampire we’re here to kill?”
The boy he pointed at was short, wearing a Count Dracula cloak and plastic fangs. He was looking for a partner to dance with, but girls ignored him repeatedly. A girl dressed like the Wicked Witch of the West made fun of his thick glasses and sprayed silly string on them.
“Yes, that’s him,” Lucy said, showing Loki a photo of the boy. She claimed the boy’s parents had given it to her and asked her to hire a vampire hunter to kill him for a hefty price, so she hired Loki to split it. It didn’t sound like a plausible story to Loki, but he didn’t care as long as he had a chance to kill another vampire.
Loki took the picture and read the scribbled lines on the back:
Please get rid of my son, ASAP. He is terrorizing the family. I’ll pay you when you finish the job.
P.S. Kill him, but be gentle.
“I still don’t understand how this dork is a vampire,” Lucy wondered. “He looks like a total loser. You see the way he’s spinning around like a doll on a stick? I thought vampires were tall, dark, and handsome.”
“He is not a dork,” Loki explained. “He is trying to fool us so we don’t stake him. This party is infested with vampires. They come here to feed every week. What better place than this where you can’t make out real from fake blood? Unfortunately, there are many other vampire hunters in the house as well.”
“I thought you were the only vampire hunter here.”
“There are three others,” Loki said. “It’s a game we all play every weekend. If I was the only one, I’d have killed my ninety-nine already.”
“Ninety-nine?”
“Don’t bother,” Loki waved his hand. “Look!” he pointed at three big boys wearing huge mice outfits, dark glasses, and holding long canes. They were disguised as the Three Blind Mice, and they were spilling drinks on a helpless girl dressed like a cat, and teasing her relentlessly. “The canes in their hands are actually stakes. They are rival vampire hunters who always try to kill the same vampires I am after so they can take the money. They’re called Beetlebuster, Cricketkiller, and Beebully. Donnie Cricketkiller is their leader.”
“Horrible names,” Lucy frowned.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Loki said. “If I approach Dork Dracula, they’ll know I’m chasing him and beat me to him. That’s why I need you to help me tempt Dork Dracula out of this party so I can kill him outside.”
“What?” Lucy almost spilled her drink. “You want me, Lucette Rumpelstein, to seduce that nerd? He wouldn’t even dream of talking to me.”
“You’re right, that’s why you have to talk to him. Tell him you want to walk out in the fresh air and then drag him to my Cadillac parked behind the bushes outside.”
“Cadillac?”
“It’s a red 1955 Coupe Deville. Her name is Carmen. You’ll take the boy to Carmen and sedate him.”
“With what?”
“Magic Dust,” Loki pulled her hand closer and poured a handful of golden sand into her open palm. “Throw some of it in his eyes; just make sure you don’t inhale it.”