“I don’t think you do.” Zane held out his arms. “Come to me, Evie.”
She walked over to the window, took in the vast expanse of lawn, the barbed wire fence, the guards and patrol dogs. “I slept with other guys after Mark. I didn’t bring them home, either.” Not that this was a home. It was a fortress. And the fact they had to live this way said it all.
He gave a frustrated growl. “I don’t want to hear about other guys.”
She turned, folded her arms across her chest. “Did you sleep with lots of women? All those women at the party? The ones who live at the clubhouse? That’s part of the biker way of life isn’t it? Along with kidnapping and torture and … death.”
“Evie.” His voice rose to a shout, startling her. “Jesus Fuck. I’m losing it here. I thought I lost you and Ty. I was fucking paralyzed. I had to call Jagger for help. I don’t call people for help, Evie. I don’t need people. And then I have to fucking hear that while I was trying to find you, Viper was holding a gun to your head. You were so damn brave and strong.”
“I had Ty with me,” she said. “Going with Viper wasn’t really an option.”
“There aren’t many people who would have said no, sweetheart. I can guarantee it.” He raked his hand through his hair, the dark strands brushing over his shoulders. “You had faith in my brothers and they didn’t have faith in you. You put them to shame down there.”
“I didn’t mean…” Her voice trailed off as pain etched his face.
“I don’t want to need you, but I do.” His voice rose, wavered. “I need you like the air I breathe, the water I drink, the food I eat. I need you because you are the only thing that keeps the darkness away. You are my light, Evie, my hope, my salvation. When I thought I’d lost you, I lost myself. And if you don’t let me hold you right now, so I know I’m not dreaming, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.”
She went to him, slid into that space in the circle of his arms that was meant for her. “I’m here, baby.”
“Ah, God.” He let out a relieved breath and dropped his lips to her hair. “Just needed so bad to be alone with you, to hold you. Nothing feels as good as having you in my arms.”
She gave him the time he needed, tried to slow the thoughts tumbling through her mind, focused on the man and not the biker, the heart beating beneath the cut.
When his muscles relaxed and his heart slowed to a steady rhythm, she tilted her head back and looked up at him. “I told Viper you had a good heart.”
“That probably didn’t go down too well.”
She stroked her fingers along his jaw, remembering all the nights she lay in bed imagining how his skin would feel beneath her touch. “He said you two were the same.”
“We’re not.” Zane brushed her hair back over her shoulder, then tangled his fingers through the long strands and gave her head a gentle tug. “We might have the same tools, but we make different choices.” Then his face tightened. “Don’t want to talk about Viper.”
“What do you want to talk about?” She brushed her fingers over his sensual lips, his cheekbones, his strong brow, searching for the boy he used to be.
His eyes glittered with masculine pride. “Wanna talk about how you didn’t like thinking of me with the other women in the club. You were jealous.”
“I wasn’t jealous. I just … it’s your way of life, I guess. If that’s what makes you happy…”
“Like you were happy when Jagger’s cousin came to visit and sat beside me on the couch?” he teased.
Her face heated, but she couldn’t turn away with his hand in her hair. “It wasn’t like that. She was sitting in my place, and she was touching you.”
He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip, tugging it from between her teeth. “I watched you all afternoon while we were playing that video game.” His voice was low, deceptively soft. “You never stopped glaring at her. When she sat on the floor between my legs, I thought you were gonna attack her.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have put your hand on her head,” she snapped, suddenly back in the moment when she wondered if she had it in her to actually physically attack the beautiful girl with the large breasts and curvy figure who had picked up on Evie’s secret crush on Zane right away and decided to rub it in her face.
“You were jealous. Say it.”
She gave an exasperated laugh. “Like you need an ego boost. But okay. Ten years ago I might have been jealous. Now, if you’re sleeping with me and sleeping with other women, then jealous isn’t the word I’d use. More like pissed off. The kind where weapons are involved.”
A grin spread across his face. “You want me.”
“I always wanted you. It’s just this life I’m not so sure about. You live in a world that scares me. What you’ve become scares me. I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”