“I wish I had a video of that so Razer could have watched,” Beth said proudly.
Lily put her coat on. She wasn’t proud of herself, yet if Georgia hadn’t lost control enough to have attacked Beth and Willa, she would have continued to ignore the woman. Lily couldn’t understand what had brought the woman to lose control like that. She had to have been aware that Razer and Shade would find out and fire her.
Willa was putting on her coat when Lily interrupted her leaving. “I’m sorry she was so hateful to you because of me.”
“She wasn’t mean to me because of you. We went to school together, and she’s always hated me. She made high school miserable for me,” Willa told her.
“I hope she leaves you alone from now on.” Lily tried to sound encouraging.
Willa shook her head. “Georgia will never change. Goodnight, and congratulations again.”
“Thanks, Willa.” Lily hugged Willa goodbye, wishing she had Rachel’s gift for just a second to make Willa feel better.
*
The women talked about Lily shutting Georgia up all the way home. When Beth pulled up at the clubhouse, they all climbed the now-clear steps.
“It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” Beth said as she was going in the door.
Lily caught her arm. “I’m going to stay out here for just a few minutes and get a breath of fresh air. I’ll be in shortly.”
Beth paused then nodded her head. “Don’t stay long, it’s cold.”
“I won’t.”
Lily walked back down the steps, turning onto the path that led behind the house. As she passed the house, she heard the voices of the members inside. She paused for a brief second, listening to the excitement and laughter from within. She didn’t pay attention to the words they were saying, only to the caring in their voices. They belonged, even Penni, who had known them for years. Only Lily was still an outsider.
Lily started walking again, taking the now-familiar path toward Shade’s house. Going up the steps, she wanted to sit down, but she didn’t want to get her church dress damp and go back inside with a wet butt. She leaned against the porch’s post instead.
“Why are you out here?” Shade asked, coming to the bottom of the steps, looking up at her.
“You couldn’t have picked a better spot for your home. The view is… perfect. When I stand here from this viewpoint, I feel like I could reach out and touch the sky. It sounds silly, but it’s so high here that I think God might hear me a little better.” She gave Shade a wry smile. “When I was a little girl, I would pray and pray at night. My real mother wasn’t much of a church-goer. If it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t even have known there was a God. They told me about Him. My mother didn’t believe, explaining as much to me.”
“Lily, stop. I told you, not today. Not on our wedding day.”
“I have to tell you today, Shade. Today’s the day you made me your wife.” Her arms circled the post she was leaning against, trying to find the strength to tell him so he would understand.
“I didn’t know what a daddy was, so my friends tried to explain it to me. When they told me, I started crying because I wanted one. I didn’t have a lot; no dolls or toys, but I never cried for those. But when they told me what a daddy was, I really wanted one of those. My friends didn’t know what to do, but then one of them ran into her apartment and came out with a Bible and they told me about God, how He was everyone’s Father. I would talk to Him whenever… whenever I needed Him. I don’t know if He could hear me. I don’t think I was close enough.
“That’s why I love the mountains. I feel closer to God. When I came to the mountains, He gave me parents who loved me. He gave me Beth and He gave me you, Shade. My husband.
“Do you know why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband before I married? Because I wanted it to be clean and new, because I’m dirty, unclean—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Shade’s foot came up on the first step.
“It’s the truth, Shade. I’ve slept with more men than any woman in that house, and you deserve to know that. I can’t give you my virginity; I lost it long ago and everything else from that life that I forgot until Halloween night.”
“I wish you had never remembered.” Shade’s quiet voice didn’t hide the anguish in his voice.
“I don’t. It was destroying me, Shade.”