He laid his fork on his plate. “What do you mean by a Dom Dom or a Dom?”
His wife straightened in her seat, trying to appear collected; however, her trembling fingers played with her water glass, exhibiting how nervous she truly was about his answers.
“I meant do you consider yourself a Master or someone who only does it occasionally?”
Shade considered her question carefully. “I am a Dom all the time. Although some men only do it when they want—when they feel the need to release the Dominant side of themselves—it’s not something I switch on and off.”
Lily licked her bottom lip, staring at her plate. “I don’t understand. Sometimes you’re bossy, but other than the few times when we’ve made love and it was your turn, you don’t seem overtly Dom-like to me, not compared to the relationship you shared with Bliss.”
“How would you know about the relationship I shared with Bliss?”
“I asked her.” Lily’s voice dropped to a whisper. “During Beth’s baby shower, a few of the women were talking about the men.”
“I was a topic of conversation at a baby shower?”
“No! Bliss and a few of the women became a little inebriated and began talking. Killyama was talking about Train, and then she asked me about your tattoos. She really wanted to know—”
“I know what she wanted to know. Did you tell her?” His jaw was clenched so tight he could barely talk.
“Of course not! But Bliss did then Jewell. Don’t be angry. They didn’t know I was listening. They had offered to pack Beth’s gifts to her car. I took one out, and they didn’t see me.”
“You could have told them you were there,” Shade snapped.
“I could have … but I didn’t,” Lily readily agreed. “I want to understand you.”
“All you had to do was ask me instead of listening to gossip.”
“I’ve tried, but you always make me feel as if I’m imagining things or blowing things out of proportion. I wanted to understand that side of you better.”
“What did you find out?”
“That you treat me differently than them.”
“Each submissive is different, and you’re my wife.”
Lily took a drink of her water before continuing. “She said you’re a master with a whip, that you can leave patterns without bruising that go away in a few hours. She said you made several on her back, but you haven’t with me. I looked. Why?”
“I told you, each submissive is different, with their own particular needs. Bliss enjoys pain; she craves it. You do not.”
“How do you know? You haven’t really tested my limits, have you?”
“No,” Shade admitted.
“Why? Because of my past?”
“Partially…” Shade continued, despite the flash of hurt that crossed her face. “And partially because I knew you would ask when you were ready for more.”
“Like the other women in the clubhouse did?” Lily looked away from him, staring at the doorway of the restaurant.
When King frowned, taking a step forward, Shade shook his head. Lily had broached the subject, and he wasn’t going to let her end it before it was settled.
“Eyes to me, Lily,” Shade said firmly. He was tempted to give her one of those patterns she was jealous over when they went home. If she wasn’t so far along, he would have left no doubt in her mind that she was his submissive.
She turned her gaze back to him. “I told you I’ve had sex with the women in the clubhouse, so why are you bringing it up now?”
“Because you don’t treat me like you’re my Master like you did the other women! Am I doing it wrong? Is it because I’m pregnant?” Lily’s lips trembled. “I’m not special to you at all, am I?”
“Lily, I married you, so of course you’re special to me.” He lowered his voice. “Are you upset because I don’t treat you like your idea of what a sub should be treated like?”
“Yes! You don’t treat me like one at all.”
If he lived to be a hundred, he would never understand his shy wife. Her convoluted thinking would stump a rocket scientist.
“Why do you have my dinner on the table when I come home?”
Lily frowned, believing he was changing the subject. “Because you frown and go to eat at the clubhouse if I don’t.”
“You hang my clothes in the closet the way I like, why?”
“Because you go behind me and do it the way you like. The last time I messed up, you washed your own clothes for two weeks before you let me do it again…” Her voice trailed off.
“And when I want to fuck my way, do you turn me down, or are you looking forward to it?”
She didn’t answer, her face turning angrily red.