“Oh, that’s why you’re acting—”
“Like a child?” Lily finished for him. She sat down on the side of the bed, staring up at him with unhappy eyes. “You treat me like one all the time. If I become angry about something, you change the subject. If I don’t like something, you fix it. You’re constantly trying to make me happy.”
“And all of that is what’s making you angry?”
“Yes, because it’s not normal the way you do it.”
Shade went ice-cold at her words.
“You don’t try to make yourself happy. You’re going to become bored and find someone else who does things the way you like them without giving me a chance to prove I can handle things on my own.” Lily stared down at the nightgown in her hands.
Shade knelt down in front of her. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.”
Lily reached out to touch his cheek then let her hand fall to the bed. “Shade, you’ve already won my heart, so you don’t have to keep fighting for it anymore. There’s nothing left to win.”
“Yes, there is,” Shade said softly. “Lily, are you happy?”
She nodded, tears in her eyes.
“Then I’m happy. Go take your shower, and when you come back, I’ll show you how to make me even happier.” He smiled, taking her hands then helping her to her feet.
Her troubled gaze caught his as she went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Shade took off his clothes then lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. For a brief second, he had feared she had found out about him. If he wasn’t careful, his smothering attitude was going to have the opposite effect he wanted. Instead of making her not want to leave him, it might be what drove her away.
He couldn’t bring himself to treat her like his other women, because she was more than that to him. He couldn’t treat her like a true submissive, because he was constantly worried something he did would trigger a memory. The few times he had taken her the way he wanted, he had gone gently with her, wanting to ease her into it, but that had stopped when she had become pregnant. He had gone too far being overprotective after the break-in at Evie’s house and had become worse as her pregnancy had advanced.
They had married on Christmas day, and like a kid who was finally given a toy he had wanted for a long time, he had been excited about getting it yet afraid of touching or playing with it because he didn’t want to damage it.
Lily was asking him to trust her, to have faith that their marriage couldn’t be broken apart.
The bathroom door opened and Lily came out dressed in her nightgown, brushing her long, black hair as her eyes gave a soft apology.
To give her what she wanted, he would have to be willing to take the risk of losing her, and that wasn’t a risk he was going to take.
*
“You done for the night?” Train asked when Shade stretched from his bent position at the workstation.
“Finally.” Shade packed the order he had filled, placing it in the mail cart which the truck would pick up and take out early in the morning.
“You’re looking tired.”
Shade grimaced mockingly. “Guess I’m getting old.”
“Or you’re not getting enough sleep,” Train said shrewdly. “I thought your sleepless nights would be over when you married Lily.”
“I’ve been putting a lot of hours in since Cash wrecked his bike. The last month since he’s been home, he’s doing better, so I’m hoping he’s well enough that he can start working a few shifts soon.”
Train nodded. “You go ahead. I’ll finish this order I’m working on and lock up.”
“Thanks, Train.”
“Welcome. Shade … You know, if you need anything—anything at all—we’re all here for you, right?”
Shade cocked his head to the side. “Where did that come from?”
“Brooke has to be a thorn in your side, and with a kid on the way, it would be hard to handle that kind of problem.”
“If I find proof that Brooke had anything to do with Evie’s break-in last summer, believe me, brother, I won’t have a problem dealing with her the way she deserves,” Shade said ominously.
“When you make the decision, remember we’re here to have your back.”
“I will. See you tomorrow.” Shade went out of the factory, sucking in a deep breath. Thinking about Brooke brought back his frustration.
They hadn’t been able to tie her to the three men who had broken into Evie’s house. He was furious at himself for not leaving one alive to get information, but he hadn’t wanted to take a chance with Lily’s safety if bullets had started flying around the room.
As he walked up the path, he heard the blaring music from the clubhouse, but he wasn’t even tempted to go inside. He was too fucking tired.