“If she hasn’t figured it out in the last month, she isn’t going to,” Shade told her.
“I told you I would do it when you bribed Judge Creech into dropping the possession charges against Greer, but it’s hard to do when you won’t tell me what I’m up against.”
“Imagine your worst nightmare, multiply it by five, and you still won’t be able to understand the Hell she’s been through,” Shade replied grimly.
“Jesus,” Rachel whispered.
“He wasn’t there for her then,” he said snidely.
“Wasn’t he?”
Shade wasn’t about to get into a religious conversation with her. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. She hasn’t had a panic attack in a month, she’s happier, and I don’t think she’s looking forward to going back to school.”
Rachel shook her head at him. “She has a long way to go, Shade. As her mind heals, whatever she’s burying in her past will try to come out. The only way she’s ever going to truly heal is if she confronts her past, and Lily doesn’t want to do that. She’s too afraid to.”
“You heal her mind, and I’ll give her the strength to deal with the rest.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I know you will, or I wouldn’t have agreed to your terms. If I didn’t believe you were the best thing for Lily, I would have let Greer rot in prison.”
“I doubt that.”
“Don’t,” Rachel replied firmly. Walking back to her dog, she reached down and petted its head. “She’s not the only one who has to confront something inside of themselves,” she said before leaving.
A chill ran down Shade’s spine as he watched her go.
He went back inside, tossing the bag of reefer to Rider. The party was in full swing. Bliss was bent over the back of the couch as Cash fucked her from behind while Rider watched. Shade didn’t have time to stay and watch, nor could he. It had been four months since he had fucked a woman; as a result, he couldn’t watch them then workout with Lily without making his hard-on noticeable.
He was an expert at controlling his body, but it was getting beyond his capabilities to keep from showing his desire for her, especially since she persisted in treating him like a fucking friend. He could see the attraction for him in her eyes, but her mind refused to acknowledge what her body was telling her.
He went back downstairs, firmly closing the door to keep the loud noises of Bliss’s climax from filtering down. He was glad he had put the music on when he had begun stretching out when he saw Lily on the mat, warming up.
“Sorry, there was something I needed to take care of.”
“No problem,” Lily said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “What are we going to work on today? Do you want me to try to knee you again?” Her eager face was lit up with excitement.
“You seem anxious to take my dick out of commission,” Shade said wryly. He wanted to get off, and she wanted to pound his dick into the matt.
As Lily laughed, her eyes twinkling, he smiled back. It was worth the pain his dick was giving him to see her so happy. Well, almost, Shade admitted truthfully to himself.
He had painstakingly been painting a picture with Lily building her trust in him, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had a masterpiece.
“We’re going to work on something different today,” he said, moving her closer to the wall at the end of the mat. “I want you to try to get out of a specific type of hold. For instance, if you’re getting into your car and someone comes up behind you.”
Lily nodded, her eyes watching him curiously.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Turn around.”
Lily did as told and Shade moved closer to her, pressing his body against her back. Lily’s hand automatically went to the wall to keep herself from being pressed against it, leaving her helpless. He felt the second she began to panic, but forced himself to wait for her next instinctive move.
One of her arms left the wall, going back to try to push him away, but his hand caught her wrist, bringing it backward to her lower back. Her other hand automatically went back but it was also captured, leaving her defenseless and pressed flat against the wall.
With his lower body flush against her butt, her breathing escalated and she went limp. Shade stepped back, and Lily began to slide down the wall without his weight holding her in place.
Shade had hoped she would have been able to tolerate the hold for a few seconds longer. Any time he took a step forward with her, he took two steps backward. He had to find a way to make her take more steps forward, or she would stay in the same place forever.
Once Shade took her arm, leading her to the corner and leaving her there to stand alone, she stood, gasping for breath, her hands going to her head and clutching her hair.
“Hands to your side. Stand up straight. Lily, by now you should know how I want you to stand.”