Another accusing look was fired in my direction. I wanted to sink to the floor and hide behind the cupboards.
"So, I'm here to try and figure what the hell is going on." His eyebrows rose, crinkling his forehead. We all stayed quiet. He looked at each of us, studying our blank expressions with growing frustration. "So, that's it? You're stone walling me? You shut out Jaeda, and now it's my turn?"
"AJ, it's complicated, man." Zach scratched the back of his head.
"Well, lucky for you I'm not stupid. I think I can keep up, you know?"
"We—" Zach looked to me, his eyes begging for permission, but my lips pinched into a tight line.
No. I shook my head.
He let out a sigh, his lips pursing to the side as he looked at the floor. "It's private," he mumbled.
"We've never kept secrets from each other. That's not how we work. How are we supposed to help you if you won't let us in?"
"It's not my decision." Zach's face scrunched as soon as the words came out. I understood his regret, because AJ swung to face me with a fierce glare. "You have no right to come here and do this to us...to him." AJ pointed at Zach. "He’s a good guy who'll do anything for anyone. I refuse to let you mess with him."
His long finger swung back to me. It was like a sword ready to pierce my center.
"Lay off, man." Zach tried to pull AJ's arm down, but the big guy flicked him off easily.
"What are you getting my friends into, huh? What's your story? Why all the secrecy?"
I lowered my gaze, hating the expression on his face. AJ had always been so kind to me. I loved his flourish and flair. He was like a walking opera, the way he moved and danced through life. I'd never seen his angry side. I didn't like it. And more than that, I didn't like that I was bringing it out in him.
"I'm sorry, AJ. Please try to understand that this is for your own good," I said quietly.
"Don't patronize me! I'm a big boy...always have been. I can take care of myself."
"You need to think about Liesl and taking care of her too."
His eyes flashed venom. I looked up just in time to see it and wished I hadn't.
"If she gets hurt because of you..."
"She won't, as long as you stay out of this."
"These guys are my brothers."
"I'm sorry." I swallowed forcing strength into my voice. "I wish I could explain, but I seriously think it's best if you just leave." I cringed. "Just go, AJ. Please."
He turned back to Zach, then threw a look at Elliot. He was waiting for their support. I couldn't believe they stayed silent. Elliot couldn't even look at AJ. His eyes were locked on his computer screen, wide and unseeing. Zach just looked to the floor and shook his head.
"Unbelievable. You're putting her before all of us?" AJ shook his head, looking a little heartbroken. My throat clogged as I tried to swallow down my guilt.
"You know, Zach, when she breaks your heart again, you will have earned it, you stupid ass. And Elliot I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but don't expect one of your pathetic, mumbled apologies to fix it this time. You've gone way past that now."
He threw me one more dark look before shoving his way past Zach and thumping down the stairs.
I closed my eyes, my legs quivering so intensely I had to lean against the counter for support. I wanted Zach to come around the counter and hold me, remind me that everything would be okay, but he didn't move. He just stood there staring at the carpet like it held all the answers in the world.
"We should have told him," Elliot finally muttered. With a disgusted huff, he slammed the table. "I'd trust that guy with my life! And I just let him walk out of here without saying anything! What the hell is wrong with me?" He pushed up so fast his chair toppled backwards. I flinched.
Elliot made a move for the stairwell, but Zach blocked his way. "It's too dangerous for them to know."
"It's AJ. He's— It's frickin' AJ, man! The world's nicest human being. You don't shut him out."
"Lucy doesn't want us to tell him."
"Oh, so she's boss now?" Elliot swung his arm in my direction. "She gets to make all the decision for us? Tear our friendships apart because she's too damn scared to trust anybody?"
"It's her life."
"It's my life too! And I'm not losing all my friends over this. I thought I could do it, but I can't." He spun to face me. "This is a worthy cause and everything and I like you a lot, Lucy. I admire that you have been through heavy shit and survived it. But these are my buddies. AJ has been my man forever and when it comes down to it, I choose him over you."
"I don't want them to get hurt," I whispered.
"Are you blind? They are getting hurt!" He made another move for the stairs, but Zach blocked him again. "I will maim you too if I have to."