I just had to get over myself and get on with it. I'm sure my heart stopped beating as my mouth opened, but the words finally began to flow. "I know I don't have any right to be standing at your door. There's no apology big enough to make up for running away like that and there's no apology big enough for coming back." I grimaced. I knew what coming back could mean for him. Would he let me stay if he truly understood how much danger I was putting him in? If I loved him then I should turn and walk away, but I couldn't. Now that I was this close to him, I wanted to launch into his arms and never let go.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." My chin trembled as I sucked in a breath. "I'm scared and running's always kept me safe in the past. But it doesn't seem to matter how far I go, I...you..." I paused, my lips quirking to the side. "You are impossible to run away from."
It was true. He'd consumed my every thought from the second I grabbed my stuff and took off. I hadn't been able to shake him, not even for one breath.
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, hating how grimy it felt. He must think I looked disgusting right now. I repulsed myself! But I couldn't think about that. I had to get through this. He could turn me away once I'd said my piece.
My insides hitched.
"I guess I just couldn't live with..." I blinked, looking down to the ground. How was I supposed to get this out? What would make him forgive me for ditching him without so much as a goodbye?
One thought flickered through my brain and my immediate response was a resounding NO. Since my parents' murder, I hadn't whispered my name to a living soul. But this wasn't just any living soul...this was Zach and if I was serious about being back, I needed to trust him...with all of me.
I huffed out a breath and went for it before I could change my mind. "I never introduced myself to you properly." I jerked out my hand like a robot and summoned every ounce of courage I possessed. "I'm Lucy Tate."
There. I'd said it.
I'd finally told someone my real name.
It was one of the scariest things I'd done in the last five years. My hand quivered in the air as I waited. I felt like a guilty criminal in court. Zach was the judge and waiting for his response was pure torture. I couldn't look at him. My eyes jerked to the ground and I was milliseconds away from dropping my hand and making a run for it when he stepped forward.
His fingers were warm as they wrapped around mine. "Nice to meet you, Lucy."
A slow smiled spread across my face as he gently pulled me into his arms. My quaking insides instantly settled. I rested my chin on his shoulder, my lips quivering as they held back tears. My arms snaked around his body and I clung to him, squeezing him until I'm sure it hurt. I never wanted him to let me go, ever. I wanted this moment to be a photograph, one we could be locked inside, safe and secure for all eternity, but then Zach sniffed.
His arms squeezed me a little tighter as he chuckled. "You really stink."
My body rippled with laughing tears. I turned my head on his shoulder, lightly kissing his neck, before whispering, "I've been sleeping in a lot of dumpsters." It was humiliating to admit. I had turned myself into a street rat, refusing to pick one pocket or con anyone. I wanted to get rid of my old life and start anew, but that came with a price.
I'd been homeless, hungry and petrified for the last month and a half.
Zach pulled away from me, his brown eyes swimming with agony as he studied my face. His thumb gently caressed my cheek as he lightly kissed my lips and pulled me inside.
He didn't say a word, just took the tatty bag off my shoulder and placed it by the front door. I kept a tight hold of his hand as he walked me up the stairs. I glanced into the living room, listening for signs of his parents, but the house was quiet. We were here alone. I could feel it.
We reached the bathroom door next to his room and he flicked on the lights. Letting go of my hand, he reached into the shower and turned on the water. The sound of the hot spray hitting the porcelain tub beneath was music to my ears.
Zach flicked the curtain across and came back to me. With a gentle smile he touched my face and trailed his fingers down to the top of my jacket. I could barely breathe as he slowly unzipped it then flicked it off my shoulders. He kept his eyes on my face as he reached for my shirt, lifting it over my head. The fabric dropped to the floor, leaving me standing in nothing but my ripped jeans and a tatty bra. I should have been humiliated. I should have been covering my dirty, skinny body with my bony arms, but the look in Zach's eyes held me frozen. There was desire there, but it wasn't lust. The compassion radiating from him kept me safe. Reaching behind me, he unclasped my bra and gently kissed my shoulder before sliding it off me. He didn't touch me, didn't study my naked form with hungry eyes, he just quietly undressed me...and I let him.
Once I was naked, he kissed my lips lightly before stepping back to the shower and checking the temperature.
"It's good." He slid the curtain back.
I was still frozen. Stepping towards me with a little grin, he placed his hand on my lower back and gently pushed me towards the bath. "Get in. I'll go get you a fresh towel and leave it on the vanity."