"Anyway, he taught me how to pick pockets. We learned a few simple cons together and pulled them off okay. I hated it, but it felt so good not to starve or be alone that I just went with it, you know?
"About a year later we met Shorty. He saw us pulling a con and liked our work so he recruited us...taught us how to play the bigger game. I had a bed again, a hot shower every day and food... as much as I wanted. It was the closest to normal that I'd felt since...since I was thirteen. I figured maybe I could outrun my past somehow, like with these guys I was hidden." My words caught as I remembered the night with crystal clarity.
"But then I saw him. I tried to pull a con on the guy who killed my parents. I didn't realize it at first, but his eyes. He has these really pale, green eyes and they just did me in." My voice began to shake. "He was still out there and I'd spoken to him. I had to tell the guys after that. I still wouldn't give them my name though." I swallowed, wondering how much detail I should include.
"It turns out he was still looking for me. If I'd known that I probably wouldn't have gone to San Francisco with the guys, but Shorty had a plan. That's when the whole high school con came into it. You know about that already." I squeezed him, kissing his shoulder lightly. "You found out about the crazy guy in the mall, right?"
He didn't respond and it was a comfort to know he was asleep. This was a good practice run for later.
"Yeah, well the guy that attacked Miles...that was Marlin. He tried to save me in San Francisco. He gave up his life for me, but it didn't help." I sniffed, licking the tears dribbling past the edge of my mouth. "And the worst part was, he got to Shorty too, like within days of taking Marlin. I think he tortured Marlin for information, but he told me he found Shorty because my moronic friend started asking the wrong questions.
"He's a powerful man, Zach. He called himself the carnivore. I don't find him, he finds me. That's what he said." My voice hitched. It was getting harder and harder to keep going, but I had to say this aloud. I'd never told anyone before and it was cleansing in some ways. "Shorty died in my arms, his blood was all over my hands. Literally and metaphorically, I guess. I may not have stabbed him, but he wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me."
Zach spun around. I thought my heart was going to explode, mostly from the sudden movement, but also from the chilling thought that this was no practice run. He'd just heard every word. I didn't have time to live out my shock. He pulled me into his arms before I could utter a sound, his chin resting against my cheek as he whispered, "It wasn't your fault. You can't be held responsible for that."
My fingers dug into Zach's back as he held me close.
"Shorty got killed for asking questions. When you said your uncle was looking into this, I just freaked out. What if he gets to you somehow?" I squeezed him to me, trying to banish the images of Zach's bloody body in my hands. "What if he hurts someone you're close to? What if he gets to your friends?"
"It's gonna be okay. We're going to beat this guy."
My insides went still. I smiled as Shorty's words reached me from the past. Don't let him win. Live for me, love.
"Running has always kept me safe, Zach." I swallowed, pressing my tear stained cheek against his. "But the past few weeks I just haven't been able to get your words out of my head. I've always been too afraid to ever consider justice. Running was the only defense I had, but it took me meeting you to realize what a coward I've been." I pulled back so I could look into his eyes. I could barely see them in the dark, but I felt his soft breath on my skin. "My parents were murdered for doing nothing wrong and I've let their killer roam free and then murder two more people who meant the world to me." Tears bubbled over my lashes as I sucked in a shaky breath. "I've let fear own me, Zach. It's made me forget about justice. It's made me fail my family."
"You haven't failed anyone." He pulled back, brushing my cheek with his fingertips."
"By doing nothing, I've let him win and kill two more people. I can't let him kill you too."
My tears turned into sobs, wrenching through my body and making me shake. Zach rolled onto his back and pulled my head against his shoulder, shushing me softly as I released the pent up emotion.
Saying I was a failure may have sounded harsh and I understood why Zach didn't agree with me, but the idea had been sleeping within me for years. Nothing could have stopped my parents' death, I know that, but if I'd fought a little harder for justice, Marlin and Shorty might have still been alive. Running had only served myself.
It was time to stop running. It was time to fight back.
Chapter 6
ZACH