“This is the most magical time of the day, don’t you think?” she said softly, belying the turmoil within. “It’s almost like – for that one minute it takes for the sun to just break the horizon – that anything is possible.”
“Anything is possible,” he said, his voice just as soft, tender, as if he actually believed that. Jesus, Nicki thought. What if he did?
She forced a little smile while inside, it felt like a magnitude-eight quake rumbled through her.
“You don’t believe me.” It was a statement, not a question, and, oh shit, he was so much closer now. Close enough that she could feel the intense heat radiating from his body, scent the unique aroma of male soap and shaving cream and Sean.
“I believe that you believe,” she said, turning back to the window, because if she kept looking into those deep blue eyes he was going to drag her into his little land of make-believe, too. A shiver ran through her.
Sean slid behind her, wrapping around her like a blanket, letting his heat soak into her. It felt far too good. He guided her back against him so that she could feel each strong, steady beat of his heart drumming through her back and into her chest. She resisted for a moment, then surrendered to it. Even she deserved a little comfort sometimes, right? And she wouldn’t let it go any farther. It was just that she was so very cold, and he was so very warm...
“What do you wish for?” The question surprised her so much that she barked out a little laugh.
“What’s so funny?” he asked against her ear. She fought the little moan that threatened to bubble up at the feel of his hot, minty toothpaste-scented breath against her skin.
“Wishes,” she answered. As if she would ever waste time on something so irrelevant. Wishes were for suckers, for those not strong enough or smart enough to cope with reality. They signified false hope, and were counterproductive to getting off your ass and actually making the effort to change your own life.
The lesson was hard learned and ingrained into her very soul. Wishes didn’t stop beatings or rapes. Wishes didn’t give you a mother who tucked you in bed at night with a kiss instead of selling you to her drug-dealing pimp. Wishes didn’t keep your brother from dealing and whoring himself to put food in your belly.
“Everyone wishes for something, Nicki.”
“Not me.” There were goals, things she had set her mind to. She would accomplish those and move on. She would not waste time on thinking of things that could never be a reality for her. A nice home. A loving husband. A family who cared.
Chapter Eleven
That was one of the saddest things he’d ever heard. Sean subconsciously pulled her closer, wishing he could just absorb her into himself. And the feeling extended deeper than he wanted it to. Maybe, on some level, he’d hoped that she might wish for him.
“There’s nothing that you want?” he asked in disbelief.
“I didn’t say that. But there’s a difference between wishing and wanting.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” He breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of her hair. He’d never thought moonlight had its own scent before, but it did, and it was right here, in this woman that had somehow weaved herself into his very soul.
“Wishing is for things you can’t get on your own. Wanting is for things you can.” She relaxed into him a little more, unclenching her hands and laying her palms against his thighs. Through the sweats he felt the warmth of her hands, and every time she touched him, a new set of nerves fired to life. It felt so good.
“I have no use for wishes,” she whispered.
Sean closed his eyes. If she kept touching his legs like that he was going to have to excuse himself again. Apparently a little DIY and a cold shower was not enough to get him through more than a few minutes in her presence.
“Then what do you want, Nicki?” The question came out huskier, breathier, than he’d intended. But hell, she was making little circles on his thighs that were driving him crazy. His face was buried in moonlight. And her warm, soft flesh was pressing against him.
“You.”
Before he could process her response she was out of his grasp and on her knees before him, tugging the sweats over his hips. Stunned at her speed, her boldness, he was powerless to do anything but watch as she positioned herself between his legs. Nicki licked her lips hungrily as she ran her hands up and down his inner thighs. When her eyes met his, he could have sworn they glowed with silvery light. She pulled away only briefly, just long enough to whisk the shirt over her head and bare her upper body to him. The feel of her skin against him sent shockwaves of need through his body.