“Does it matter?” she asked quietly.
“What matters to me is you, Nicki. Goddammit, I can’t stand to see your heart ripped out every time that woman fucks up and you think you can save her. When are you going to realize she doesn’t want to be saved? Maybe she wants to die. God knows she’s been trying hard enough to make it happen.”
How many times had she been through this? How many times had Charlene sworn she was going to clean herself up and do better? Nicki hadn’t seen her in years, but she’d made sure that Charlene had a decent place to live, that her bills were paid off when Charlene didn’t have enough.
Nick didn’t know that, though. Neither did Charlene. No one did, nor could they.
Despite her best efforts, a single tear fell onto the table, absorbed by the little paper spheres.
“Ah, fuck, Nicki. Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Nick,” she said, wiping at her eyes but not looking up. “I just have to. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I just want her to know she’s not alone.”
Nick sighed heavily. “Yeah, I know. Do what you gotta do.” Nick slid out of the booth and gave his sister a quick kiss on the top of the head. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid like blow town again without saying goodbye, yeah?”
She nodded wearily, but her eyes didn’t meet his.
“Alright. I’ve got a few things to finish up at the garage. Why don’t you head back and crash for a bit? Christ, you look beat.”
“You’re working today? It’s Saturday.”
“I know, but I promised Sean I’d have this Escalade done for pickup first thing Monday. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. I’ll be home well before your shift. Hey, we’ll get a pizza tonight, yeah? Anything you want on it.”
Nicki sniffed and nodded. She should be working tonight. Saturday was undoubtedly the best night of the week. Men were ramped up in weekend mode with a full day remaining for recuperation before having to face the grind once again. It was when she made her biggest tips, and had the greatest chance of getting the information she needed. And what would she be doing? Hanging out in her brother’s apartment, scamming his clothes while she scarfed down take-out and watched crappy movies on cable.
She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she’d been benched yet, though. That would only bring up questions and she’d have to explain what happened, and she just wasn’t ready to do that. Nick would hear about it soon enough.
*
Even from the gift shop Sean could see the pain in Nicki’s eyes, feel her hurt, making his own gut twist in the process.
Should he? Probably not. But damn, she looked so lost, so fragile. Maybe it was all the warm and fuzzy still flowing through him from his visit upstairs, but there was no way he could not go to her. Before he even realized it, his feet were carrying him in her direction.
“Nicki.” He said her name softly, afraid to startle her. She looked up, surprised, and he caught his breath. For just a moment, she looked so young. Her crystalline eyes were wide, her expression unguarded. There was none of the heavy make-up she’d been wearing last time he’d seen her; her hair hung in soft waves, layered and uneven around her face. Even the faded Levi’s, Reeboks, and hoodie made her look more like a young woman than the sexy vixen that had straddled his lap the night before.
It didn’t last long. As soon as she registered who it was who had spoken her name, her face hardened into the scowl he knew so well, and she matured before his eyes.
“What do you want?” she practically hissed.
“May I sit down?”
She looked as if she’d rather have a root canal. “It’s a free country. I was just leaving anyway.”
“Please,” he said as he slid into the seat across from her. “Don’t go just yet.” His long legs extended under the table. In was a deliberate move on his part; she’d have to crawl over them to extract herself. She exhaled heavily, but remained where she was. He decided to count that as a small victory.
While he hoped that she might open up to him, the realist in him knew it was unlikely. He was not normally a patient man, but he would be for her, and he looked forward to the challenge of earning her trust. Starting now.
Nicki avoided his eyes as he ordered coffee and a sandwich, shaking her head when he offered to get something for her as well.
“Well?” she asked once the waitress had left. “Are you stalking me now? They have laws against that, you know.”
“My brother and his wife just had a baby,” he said. “I drove her to the hospital.”
“Oh. Uh, congratulations, then. I guess.”
The server came by with a clean mug for Sean. He didn’t miss the way Nicki’s scowl deepened when the pretty young thing filled his cup and completely ignored Nicki’s.