She whistled under her breath. "That's intense. But Rose, I gotta say, you married an Alpha. Literally. You can't try to tame him. He's going to have different values than you."
It surprised and irritated me that she took his side in this. "But murder? This isn't like the toilet paper debate or whether he replaces the cap on the toothpaste," neither of which we ever fought over.
"No, but it's not like he's out there killing kittens and babies. Ryder nearly killed Drake, and he's certainly killed others in the past, likely other innocents. I may not have done what he did, but I get it."
We entered the mansion and Ocean walked me to my class, which was already full of mostly eager students. I turned to her before entering. "I'll think about what you said. Don't be a stranger, okay?"
She kissed my cheek. "Promise. Now, I gotta jam, I have double guard duty today."
Throughout the class my mind kept drifting to my shifting, to the morality of Derek taking a life, to the threat of the Beast—so many major life stresses that teaching design seemed silly. At least Derek was teaching the kids something that could really help protect them.
I knew this scattered mind of mine was keeping me from being effective in my shifting, so after class I found a spot under a tree to meditate and quiet it, but I didn't get much time alone before Sam sat next to me, staring up at the sky as I finished my meditation.
She smiled when I opened my eyes. "Sorry to disturb you, but I was hoping to catch you alone."
"Sure, what's up?"
"I wanted to thank you for saving my life. It's always been frustrating to have such a passive ability when it comes to fights and conflict. This isn't the first time I've felt useless in a fight."
"I didn't exactly use my powers to help much. I couldn't. I don't even know why the Beast left, but it likely had nothing to do with me."
"Still, you put yourself in between me and the Beast. That you couldn't shift made it even more significant of a sacrifice." She fidgeted on the ground and frowned. "Since I became a mother, everything has been about Ana. I don't want to die, of course, but now, I have to live. I can't leave her alone in this world."
I couldn't imagine having a child to worry about in all this, especially one as remarkable and gifted as Ana.
"But that's enough about me," she said. "How are you? How are your shifting abilities coming along? Derek didn't like it, did he? There's a rule about it in his—your—pack." I could hear her unspoken question as well. How were we since Sam told me Derek's secret.
"Yes, but he's slowly coming around. We've had some tricky communication issues, but we're getting through it. We love each other and we're learning to see each other's side."
Sam nodded in understanding. "I get it. I had a problem with Drake's abilities when he could control minds. For a while, I could control them too, when I was pregnant. I was too hard on him though. He only ever tried to keep us safe."
"I know that's where Derek's heart is too, but sometimes his methods are hard for me to handle."
"Yeah, I—"
We both stopped talking when the forest behind us began to moan, as if the trees were coming alive. Red eyes peered at us through the dark shadows.
"Sam, run!"
We stood, but it was too late. The tree next to Sam moved, using its branches as arms to pull Sam into it, trapping her as it stepped through the forest fast, too fast, and away from me.
I chased them, knowing I wouldn't be fast enough on human legs, and willed myself to shift. I went into my room, searching through the animals until I found my bear, then took in the form and will of the bear, putting his body over mine. But when I tried to leave the room, to use my bear body to chase down Sam and save her, I couldn't open the door and get out. "Help me!" I screamed, but I knew no one would hear.
My body collapsed to the ground and I fell out of my room, my brain jangling in my skull from the impact. I tried to get up and run but instead screamed in agony as I noticed my deformed body.
I had shifted to bear.
At least part of me had.
One leg and one arm. And I couldn't shift back, couldn't run or move as Sam's screams grew quieter and then disappeared into the forest.
FOURTEEN
Yet I'll Speak
DRAKE
I hold my peace, sir? no;
No, I will speak as liberal as the north;
Let heaven and men and devils, let them all,
All, all, cry shame against me, yet I'll speak.
— William Shakespeare, Othello
SUNLIGHT REFLECTED OFF polished steal as swords clashed, clanging in the bright morning air. Below us, clouds changed shape, dancing in the sky to a slower beat than Beleth and I kept.
I hadn't landed any kind of hit on Beleth, with fist or sword, but the rush of flying, of feeling the wind push against my golden wings, glowing brightly behind my back, gave me a head rush.
They didn't have feathers, or look anything like a bird’s, but rather looked made of magic and light, despite how solid they felt coming out of my back. I found I could pull them in or allow them to release at will once I figured out how.