That was it, the thing that was bothering her—the idea that Sam might really believe she was nuts, just one hop and a skip away from a straitjacket. Did he believe that? Really believe that? In spite of their admittedly oppositional relationship, she liked him, she’d always liked him, and she wanted him to like her. She had assumed he was a friend. Not her keeper.
And yet, he apparently viewed her as someone who was as much in need of being checked on as Millie Bagley and Tony D’Angelo. The realization stung much deeper than Libby would have guessed and she felt oddly betrayed by him. “You don’t need to check on me. I had a bad experience. I reacted badly, and I’m dealing with it. But that doesn’t mean I need supervision, or whatever it is you are doing.”
“I know,” he said in a patient tone that sounded dangerously close to Dr. Huber’s.
Libby’s heart began to race with anger. She hated being in this position, of somehow having fallen into a category of citizens who needed to be checked on from time to time. “Okay, Sam,” she said, a little breathlessly. She rubbed her palms on her skirt. “I’ll be honest. It may be possible that Ryan and I will agree to some happy medium—”
“A what?”
“For the sake of the kids,” she added hastily, and threw up a hand to stop him before he began his lecture. “That’s all. But I need you to know that I am dealing with my issues as best I can and I am moving on. So . . . so don’t lump me in with everyone else you think needs to be looked after.”
Sam stilled. His expression turned as dark as she’d ever seen it. It was thunderous, the kind of look that could make a person quiver. Come to think of it, Libby had never seen Sam Winters angry. Frustrated maybe, but this . . . this was angry.
She didn’t like the way he was looking at her, or the way he started to move toward her, one deliberate step at a time. She scrambled backward and instantly bumped into her car.
“Libby, listen to me. I am going to say this once. After that, you can do whatever you want, but I am going to try and get through to you one last time. You and Ryan are never getting back together. Ever. It’s just not going to happen, do you understand?”
His adamancy was surprising. “I didn’t say I was getting back with him! And anyway, how do you know?” she demanded.
“Because I know,” he snapped. He leaned forward, bracing himself against her car with one arm, locking her in between him, the vehicle, and his rebuke. “He let you go. Dumb as that is, he did. He’s moved on. He’s moved on so much that he got a restraining order against you.”
“Because he was mad—”
“Because he is done,” Sam angrily interrupted her. “Don’t create some fantasy in your head. Leave him alone. Don’t make me have to arrest you.”
She didn’t like what he was implying. Ryan had apologized—it wasn’t as if she was fantasizing about it. She was almost certain she wasn’t. “He just said it this morning!” she insisted. “You heard him. He said he wished things hadn’t happened like they did, and that he was sorry, and to let the dust settle. What does that mean? It means he is sorry!”
“Jesus Christ,” Sam muttered incredulously.
Libby dipped under his arm and put some distance between herself and those piercing hazel eyes. “Don’t come and check on me. I don’t need you to hold my hand and tell me what to do. I know what I’m doing.”
Okay, maybe she didn’t know exactly, but this was her problem. Not his.
Sam pressed his lips together, as if he was working hard to bite back a few choice words. “Okay,” he said tersely, and abruptly turned around and walked back to his truck.
Libby watched him get in, back up, and drive on. She watched his truck disappear around the corner.
Her breath was still coming in angry gulps.
Sam was wrong. He had to be wrong. Because it wasn’t impossible that Libby and Ryan could patch things up, at least enough that she might see Alice and Max. And besides, it wasn’t Sam’s business. This was her life, not his. Sam didn’t know what had gone on between Libby and Ryan. No one knew but her and Ryan. And Libby knew Ryan well enough to know that it took a lot for him to say that he wished things hadn’t ended.
She would be the first to admit that she couldn’t be sure what had been real between her and Ryan after all that had happened. But what she did know was that it couldn’t all have been a lie. I’m crazy about you, baby, crazy in love. I can’t live without you and I never will.
That’s what Ryan had said the night he asked her to move in with him and the kids.
How did love like that suddenly disappear?
It didn’t.
People made mistakes. Ryan had admitted as much to her twice this week. Alice was calling her every afternoon. It wasn’t ridiculous to imagine some level of reconciliation could happen, if only for the sake of Alice and Max. Because no matter what had happened between her and Ryan, her relationship and her love for those two kids was as real and as deep as anything she had ever felt in her life. She wasn’t going to walk away from that. Alice and Max meant more to her than anything else in the world.