As is the way in Australia, everyone will bring a plate so I won’t have to worry about salads or side dishes or desserts. Gabe goes out to pick up ice and grog, while myself and the girls get ourselves partyfied; it’s not a dressy affair, our friends have no idea about the engagement and think they are just coming over for a barbie, but I know my girlfriends, they are like me in that casual still means dressy but made to look casual; I stand in my wardrobe contemplating what I can wear that will fit and not make me look fat!
Ava wanders in and I can’t help but notice how tall she has got, at just fourteen she is already a good four inches taller than me and looks all legs in her skinny jeans and Uggs, her hands are dug deep into the pocket across the front of her Hurley hoodie, her long fair hair is plaited and hanging over one shoulder and she’s wearing makeup, just a little foundation, blusher and mascara. Harmless enough and she is fourteen but I don’t know how Gabe will react. He is struggling with Ava’s journey into womanhood and it doesn’t help that she is as strong willed as she is. I actually love that about her and don’t want her to lose that quality but then I’m just far enough removed to remain objective, whereas Gabe can barely see straight when I mention Ava and boys in the same sentence. I study her beautiful face that’s so much like her Dads and she looks troubled.
“What’s up chicken?”
“I’m sorry about earlier with Mum and Dad I mean, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”
I go to her and wrap my arms around her, she’s still skin and bone after the accident, we really do need to work on fattening her up but I don’t want to knock her confidence by saying anything.
“Not a bother, they sorted it out… and let’s face it, whenever we told her, she was always gonna kick off, she just doesn’t like me.”
“It’s not that she doesn’t like you Lauren. It’s because she still loves him, my Dad. She’s still in love with him, her and Dean argue about it all the time.”
Shit! I swallow hard. “Well, how does that make you feel? I mean, did you always hope they would get back together?”
I lead her out of the wardrobe and we go and sit down on the bed. “When I was a little girl, I used to like, pray and wish that we could all be together and that my Mum would stop shouting at my Dad and stop crying in her bed at night. Then she met Dean and she was so happy, so then I just worried about my Dad. I wanted him to have someone to love, to make him happy but then as I got older, I realised that even though my Mum had Dean and my brothers, she still wasn’t really happy and whenever her and Dean argue, it’s always about Dad so then I like figured, perhaps her and my Dad should be together, if they can’t love anyone else, then perhaps it’s because they still love each other and if they just like gave it another go then they would realise. Then Dad met you and…” She shrugs and starts to twiddle with end of her plait and I feel a flutter of nervousness in my stomach at what she’s going to say next.
“I was so happy. He told me about you on the phone and I couldn’t wait to meet you and then when I did and you were like, so cool and he’s like so crazy mad in love with you, it’s just too cute and now you’re getting married and we are going to be a family and I’m just so happy. I feel sad for my Mum but she is just mean, I feel sorry for Dean and I feel sorry for all the shit she gives my Dad and f…”
“Ava don’t say shit, your Dad will go mad if he hears” And, I think to myself – please stop saying like, Gabe has picked her up on it so many times but the habit seems to be getting worse, or am I just getting old?
“Sorry. For all the crap she gives Dad and she says things about you that aren’t nice and I just feel sad for her.” She shrugs her shoulders and lets out a deep breath.
“Well look Ava; I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know your Mum really and whatever she has to say about me, I don’t care about so don’t let it worry you, but I just want you to know, that I love you. And it goes without saying that your Dad does too and we can’t wait to get married but when we do, nothing really will change, we, the three of us are already a family and nothing will change that, I just want you to always remember that and I want you to know that you can always come and talk to me. About anything and if things get shitty at home, just call and one of us will come and get you.”
“Don’t say shitty Lauren, my Dad will crack it if he hears you.”
I laugh. She doesn’t miss a trick, but I worry that she’s carrying all this around on her shoulders. Nina really needs to sort her shit out.
“I love you baby girl and I won’t say shitty if you can manage to stop saying like, it drives your Dad mad. Where’s Sophie, she’s been very quiet today?”
“Huh. She’s still getting ready Louie will be here later and she like really likes him.”
“Really, he’s what – sixteen? And stop saying like.”
“Sorry…Yeah sixteen.”
“So is there anyone you fancy.”
“Well sort of, Louie’s mate Josh is pretty hot; I think he’s bringing him tonight.”
“Right, and is he sixteen as well?”