“Well no, not hit me, he wouldn’t do that, Gabe would never do that. It’s just habit and I fell, and he was on the floor and then he pissed me off again so I was a bitch and I threw Karen Palmer and Jackie in his face, and he drove off and left me, he left me here on my own and when you knocked I thought, I thought it was Jason again and that he'd come back.”
I sob and dribble and at one stage I even blow a snotty bubble out of my nose. I am a mess. “Sam, I’m such a bad person. I said something terrible. She abused him and I accused him of fucking her. Why? Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?”
“Ssssshhh, calm, calm, calm, slow down, slow down, let's go upstairs, you shouldn't be getting yourself worked up like this, you've been through enough lately.”
She helps me stand, we walk upstairs and she passes me my drink and pours herself one as I sit on the sofa, the wine is gone in an instant, Sam goes to the fridge and pulls out another bottle, she tops us both up and then hands me some paper towel off the bench top, I wipe my eyes and nose with it.
“Fuck, I'm sorry, what a fucking mess. Again, everything is always such a mess with us; nothing is ever simple or straightforward, I’m so over it. I should have just said yes, he wants to marry me; I want to be with him. I should have just said yes, I’m an idiot, I’m a fuckin idiot who just doesn’t know when to shut up, and what I said was unforgivable.”
I can feel myself getting hysterical again and sob as I speak the last sentence.
“Slow down Lauren and tell me exactly what has happened, who’s Karen Palmer? The name sounds familiar?”
I take a swig of my wine and take a deep breath and tell her about the last few hour’s events and what has been said. I tell her about working for Karen Palmer and what happened when Gabe met me at her new home and I tell her the story of Karen and Gabe’s affair. We make our way outside and sit with our wine and smoke a cigarette as I finish talking.
“Bloody hell Lauren, you seriously couldn’t make this shit up! I actually don’t know what to say; at least you know everything. I didn’t even know about Karen Palmer and I don’t know if the boys do, but you know and that’s something, he’s not tried to hide it from you or deny it. You two obviously love each other and as much as it all seems like a battle right now, you will get through this, you two are fighters and what you have is most definitely worth fighting for, I’m sure of it.”
She chews on her thumb nail, looking really worried, in turn, making me worry. “And you have no idea where he's gone?”
I take a deep breath and shake my head and my scalp begins to prickle as fear begins to slowly creep into my pores. She's worried, what's she thinking? Where does she think he might have gone?
“What are you thinking Sam? You know him better than me. Where’s he likely to go?”
She's making a call from her mobile as I speak and raises her finger to shush me.
“Hey Gabe, I wanna come over and visit Lauren later, can you just call me back and let me know that's alright? Thanks babe, love you.”
She takes a deep breath, “Went straight to voicemail, he's not answering.”
“Tell me what you're thinking Sam? You’re scaring me.”
“I'm just worried he might go after your husband Lauren, it would have taken a lot for him to propose and I'm worried that he thinks you saying no, is all your husband’s fault and he's gonna go after him. Zachary said Gabe terrified him last night, he has never seen him so scared or so angry, he truly believes if he had found Jason he would have killed him.”
I sit perfectly still and try to calm my thoughts. Gabe knows where Jason lives, he will know where to find him but he was angry at me, not Jason, well he’s always angry at Jason but right at that moment it was definitely me, and rightly so. Perhaps I should call Jason, just to be sure, I take Sam’s phone and make the call. He's the last person in the world I want to talk to right now but I need to know if Gabe has gone looking for him. This is all my fault, Gabe could seriously hurt Jason and get locked up. Obviously, I don't really want to see Jason get hurt, much, and I definitely don't want Gabe getting into trouble for doing it.
He answers after a couple of rings and my palms are instantly clammy. “Jason, its Lauren, look. Strange question I know but Gabe’s not been to your place has he?”
“Why would that cunt come here?” I flinch at his words.
“He’s seriously pissed off Jay, I don’t want any more trouble and I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
“What more damage could he do Lauren? He's taken you away; a few bruises and broken bones won't hurt nearly as much.”
My head swims at his words. I was actually expecting spitting, snarling and abuse hurled at me. Not that insightful little speech, but something’s not right. He sounds off, like he’s had a drink maybe.
“Jay, he didn’t take me away, you and your actions drove me away. When are you going to wake up and take responsibility for what you did? And I mean it Jay; Gabe is seriously pissed off right now, if he turns up, please don’t answer the door.”