I wipe my tears and my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie. “Shit, I have to ring Sonny now and ruin his day too.”
I leave Gabe to clear up the mess I made with the cup and go and call my eldest child. I cry myself back to sleep after wards, thinking that today will be marked off as one of the shittiest of my life.
CHAPTER 29
The next few days are spent dealing with solicitors and accountants from both businesses; because Jason has been sectioned, power of attorney is switched to me. I don’t want to sell his company out from under him. Especially not to Gabe’s families firm but if I don’t, there probably will be nothing left to save within a matter of weeks so by Wednesday it’s a done deal. I have left all of this to the boys to deal with and have just concentrated on getting the Palmers place finished. I will be handing everything over to them on Thursday, then on Friday I am booked into the hospital at ten to have the CVS testing done, I am absolutely terrified of what they might find and this has helped in some part keep my mind off the fact the procedure, may well be painful.
Gabe has been an absolute rock where Jason has been concerned and as soon as the psych unit are prepared to release him, he has booked him into a hospital in East Malvern for a twenty eight day rehab program, he has liaised with the police, who have said they would be happy for Jason to complete the course before they bring charges against him. Obviously they would prefer a non-addicted prisoner on their hands than an addicted one; we have been advised that Jason has asked to see me but for one, at the moment he’s not allowed any visitors and for another, Gabe has completely forbidden it. I will see him at some stage, rightly or wrongly, I want to help him through this, I want to support him but I will be up front and honest with Gabe about it and make sure I don’t put myself in danger in any way, he will no doubt crack it big time. Despite everything, I still feel it’s the right thing to do, Jason is after all, my boys Dad and has been a part of my life, it’s just not in me to abandon him, I feel responsible, but very little else.
Gabe takes Thursday morning off to come with me up to Redhill, he’s never seen my work in person and I feel more nervous showing him around than I do about showing the Palmers the finished job. We arrive at around ten, which gives me an hour before Karen and Steve are due to arrive, I don’t want Gabe here when they are, I know it’s petty but I don’t want him and Karen in the same state, let alone the same house. I walk him through without saying too much, just watching his reactions to each room, despite all of the distractions I’ve had during this job, I personally feel it’s one of my best yet. It’s a sunny but cold day as we go out onto the balcony and look down at the newly landscaped pool area and the new pool house which Gabe’s team are responsible for.
“Come here” He says very quietly, I stand in front of him, squinting from the sun. “Do you know how fucking proud of you I am right now?”
I shake my head. “Tell me.”
He shakes his head in return. “I could have fucked this up for you completely. Anyone else would have run a mile from this job but you held your held high and just got on with it. I was so ashamed Lauren.” He closes his eyes for a long moment and wraps his arms around me, then steps back and looks at me. “That day I came up here and you knew, within seconds you knew what had gone on in the past. You looked at me with such disappointment. I felt, I can’t begin to tell you how I felt; I had never been ashamed of my past until that moment. I wanted, I wished in moment, that right then, that there had only ever been you. But that’s… That wasn’t the case; that day, putting you in that position made me want to be a better person. I know I’ve fucked up since, but every day, that’s all I want, I want to be what you deserve, you’ve had so much shit to deal with and you just get on with things, you don’t use the hand life has dealt you to fuck up, you’re good and kind and even now, I know your worrying about that prick of an ex of yours and I know you will want to go and visit with him, because that’s just you Lauren and I want so much to be what you deserve.”