Everything suddenly stops, the sirens stop, Jason stops struggling, he stops making the noises that he was. Gabe’s eyes meet mine with a look of absolute terror in them, his suit jacket is off one shoulder and his tie is off, his top two buttons are undone and all that goes through my mind in that moment is. Is how fucking hot he looks.
He tilts his chin towards me. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head, “I’m fine.”
I feel that my cheek is still bleeding and without thinking I wipe it on the back of my hand. As I talk the policemen move Jason into a standing position, and then there is chaos again. Gabe flies, literally flies across the room at him, “She’s pregnant you bastard. She’s fucking pregnant and you put your hands on her.”
He’s so fast no one has a chance to react and he lands two punches. One to each side of Jason’s jaw before a policeman pulls Gabe away, then two more help to restrain him, they don’t cuff him, they just hold him down.
Jason falls to his knees and turns his head to me. “You’re pregnant?” He shakes his head as he speaks.
I let out a sob and nod as I put my hands over my belly.
“No Ren. No. No. No. What about us, what about us? You need to come back Ren. We need to put this right.”
He’s on his knees, handcuffed and surrounded by police, I stand from the stairs where I was sitting and the policewoman steadies me as I sway a little as I stand. I step towards Jay.
“Lauren. No” Gabe almost growls at me, I raise my hand to shush him. I step towards Jason and touch his face; he turns it in towards my hand. I lift his chin so that he has to look me in the eye.
“There is no us anymore Jay. What we had. What we were, is like this house. Smashed, broken and empty and now I know why. How long Jay? How long has this been going on?”
He looks over my face, and in that moment, I see him, my Jason, the man I married, the father of my children. The man who will always have a very large piece of my heart. His chin trembles in my hand as he speaks. “Always, all the while. First the coke, then the last few years the meth. I’m so sorry Lauren, I thought I had it under control, but it got me, I’m sorry.”
I let the tears flow. “So am I Jay. So am I. You could have come to me, I would have helped you, we would have got through it. I was your wife, it could have all been so different. Everything, all of our years together, it was all a lie. I don’t know you at all. I’ve loved you for over half my life and I don’t even know you.”
I don’t get the chance to say anymore as a very tall policeman walks in and starts taking over proceedings and orders Jason be taken away and charged, the ambo’s arrive and check me over, shining a light in my eyes and deciding I’m okay to go home after they check my blood pressure, which is a little raised. I’m actually amazed that it’s only a little high! All the time I’m being checked over I’m watching Gabe give a statement to the police, he’s made no move towards me and I’m pretty sure that he’s more than a little pissed off, his hands are in his hair or at his jaw constantly. My phone starts to vibrate from the middle of the floor, I reach forward and pick it up, and it’s Ryder. Oh God. My kids, I have to explain to my kids that their Dad is a junkie. How do I say that? How do I put those words into a sentence and make it sound okay? I look across to Gabe as I just stand there, in the middle of the broken hallway, in the middle of this broken house, that used to be my home, my life, my world. He looks at me with complete contempt and then looks away, he doesn’t come to me like I want him too, he doesn’t hold me like I need him too, he just continues talking with the policeman, flexing his hands, balling them into fists and then opening them again, dragging them over his jaw, through his hair. The ambo touches Gabe on the shoulder and tells him I need to go home and rest and the policewoman tells me I need to make a statement but they are happy to come and take it from me a little later. After taking some photo’s the police leave. Gabe is out the front making a call so I go back to the stairs and sit down, the side of my face is burning and I know I have a fat lip and a cut somewhere inside my mouth from where my cheek hit my teeth, but my babies are safe, he never touched them, just me and that I can live with.
Gabe appears in the doorway and just looks at me. “Gabe.”
“Don’t, just don’t… Not yet, I’m not ready to hear it.”
He presses the button on the wall and opens the garage door. My phone goes again, it’s Jo. “Just get here, now and bring Jake.” She doesn’t say a word and ten minutes later she and Jake are pulling up on the drive. Jo comes and joins me on the stairs, Jake has headed straight into the garage with Gabe, I can hear them talking quietly.
“What the fuck happened Loz, are you okay?” I reach into my bag and pull out the little plastic zip lock and show it to Jo, she frowns as she looks at it. “Ice?” I can only answer with a nod as I start to cry again.
“All these years Jo. Our whole lives, he’s put me through shit because he’s been using coke then this stuff. And I never even knew.”