I looked at the crowd of people around me, feeling the negative, hostile energy in the air. It was in that moment that I recognized we had finally come to the last leg of the journey. Getting the book back into our hands had always been the only choice, which was why Gabe and Jack had come to me with the answers at night.
“I have to distract Shax long enough for you to get the book,” I said softly.
Jared turned to me, his eyebrows squeezed tightly together. “Are you serious?”
“No, Jared, she’s trying to be funny. Of course she’s serious,” Kim said.
“Bad idea,” Ryan said.
I reached out to to him, touching his cheek with my fingertips. “It’s the only way you’re going to get the book.
Jared glanced at Claire, and then back to me. “We’ve been trying to get the book to save you. It doesn’t make sense to put you in danger in order to get our hands on it.”
“This is stupid, let’s go,” Claire said.
Kim held up her hands. “Wait. Just wait. We all know she doesn’t have much time left.”
Kim saying aloud what everyone else knew—and had hoped to keep from me—felt like a bittersweet release, but the siblings' expressions were ashamed.
Jared’s eyes hit the floor.
“Did I miss something here?” Ryan said, shifting his weight. For the first time since we'd arrived, he seemed uneasy.
Kim’s eyes met mine. “Both sides are talking. You know too much, Shax wants revenge, and you pose a threat to Hell just by being alive. We could pluck out your uterus today and they would still end your life to prevent a miracle. You are going to die, anyway, Nina. It’s time we resort to desperate measures.”
“Christ Almighty,” Charles whispered.
The air was absent of sound. Everyone’s eyes were on me, but I couldn’t reply. I could barely breathe.
“I’m not going to let that happen, Nina,” Jared said. “We can figure out another way.”
“Is it true?” I said, looking up at him.
His eyes fell away from mine, and I knew the answer.
“Why is this happening?” I cried, pulling away from his grip.
“Nina,” Claire said as I passed.
I ran outside into the rain. Since the day Jack died, my life had spun so far out of control it was hard to remember what my life was like when I was just like any other girl. It wasn’t fair. Eli had instructed me to be strong, and not to mourn the normal life I once had, but I didn’t want to die—especially for a choice I didn't make.
Jared was immediately behind me, encompassing me in his warm arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice pained. “Let me find another way.”
“No,” I said, wiping my nose. “Let’s just get it over with.”
A few moments later, the rest of the group joined us. They all waited patiently for my answer.
Charles fidgeted. “I wish there was some way we could help you.”
Kim hooked her arm with her father’s. “I'm helping them,” she said, her eyes strangely soft and sad. “I won't leave her side until it's finished.”
Charles nodded, squeezing his daughter to his side.
“Okay,” I said, shaking off the fear. “How are we going to do this?”
“This is crazy!” Ryan said. “Tell her, Jared! There’s no way we’re using her for demon bait!”
Jared cringed, but he didn’t speak.
Claire grabbed my hand. “We choose our own fate, right Nina?” she said, managing an encouraging smile.
“Yes,” I said. “If it’s going to happen, I want it to be on my terms.”
“You’re all insane!” Ryan said, horrified. “I feel like I’m watching you all sentence her to death!”
Kim opened the door to the Sentra. “Now all we need is a plan,” she said.
Jared tugged on my hand. “Ride with me.”
I squeezed his fingers in mine, knowing he faced the same fate as I. The ride home was quiet; no radio, no talking, just the noise of the road under the tires, and the rain pounding against the windshield.
The window wipers danced back and forth, clearing the rain drops long enough to let the next droplets splash into their place. Headlights from oncoming cars whizzed by, but they were driving slow because of the weather. It was Jared that was disregarding the speed limit by at least thirty miles per hour.
The decision to use myself as a distraction was mine, but the plan was up to Jared. He would be forced to map out our every move, hoping that it was perfect enough to spare our lives.
“We can do this,” Jared finally said, lifting my hand to his lips. “It’s going to work, and we’ll have the book, and then we can save you.”
“I know,” I said with a small smile. “I trust you.”
“Sweet potato fries,” he said, his cloudy eyes glossing over.
“Sweet potato fries,” I smiled back.
Chapter Seventeen
The Roof