“What if it never feels right?”
“I don’t know,” I said, turning off the water. A towel flew up and over the shower door, landing on my head. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Claire said, shutting the door behind her.
By the time I was dressed and ready, Claire, Jared and Bex were downstairs in the kitchen, discussing Ryan. Just by entering the room, it was obvious it was not a constructive conversation.
“You’re such a hypocrite!” Claire growled.
Jared slammed the side of his fist on the table. “Are you in love with him?”
“No!”
“Then it’s a different scenario!” Jared glanced in my direction, and then took a breath, attempting a calmer tone. “You said it yourself. It doesn’t feel right to tell him.”
I sat down, scanning the siblings with my eyes before speaking. Outwardly, Claire was angry. But her eyes were begging for understanding. Telling Ryan anything was a huge step for her, and just as Jared struggled with it two years before, Claire was now fighting with her conflicting feelings. She needed her brothers to support her
I took a seat across from Jared, and next to Claire. The choice was meaningful, and I hoped that they would notice. “Maybe Claire is looking for your blessing, Jared,” I said.
“Or just some understanding,” she grumbled.
Bex stood up, and walked across the kitchen, picking up a plate, and then setting in front of me. It was an omelet, loaded with ham, green onion, mushrooms, and cheese.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
Bex nodded, and then touched his sister's shoulder. “Claire, I love you. But if you’d take a step back and think about this. Ryan is a cop. He’s investigating murders you committed. What do you think he’s going to do when you tell him you murdered his partner? You think he's going to forgive you because he saw your eyes in the desert?”
“The partner that orchestrated his kidnapping and ultimate demise,” Claire said. “Listen,” she sighed, “I know how it looks on paper. I may not be in love with Ryan, but he says he’s in love with me. If he listens to what I have to say, and I approach it carefully, I think he could be an asset.”
“We can’t take that chance,” Jared said, finality in his voice.
Claire stood, her palms flat on the table. “You took the same chance when you told Nina, and she wasn’t even an asset! Her life has spun out of control since the second you revealed yourself to her, Jared. At least let me make my own decision, like you did!”
Jared's nose wrinkled in disgust. “You were on me for months about Nina, Claire! How quickly you forget the hours I spent listening to your lectures on doing the right thing. Keep the secret. Keep the secret! That's been your mantra for years!”
Tears filled Claire’s eyes as her face turned red. “Coming from you!” she screamed. “You know what it’s like to have no one, and you know what it’s like to finally be free of the burden of what we are; to have someone else besides your mother, or your brothers to confide in! I have no one, Jared! You’ve lived it, and you still deny me the liberation you insisted on?”
Jared shifted in his seat, but I could see in his eyes he would not yield. Claire saw it, too.
“Go to hell!” she shrieked before storming out of the house. She slammed the door with such force that the surrounding painting and pictures on the wall fell from their nails, and crashed to the floor.
“You’re making a mistake,” I said, meeting Jared’s obstinate stare. “Claire, wait!” I yelled, hoping she would hear it before she sped away. I ran outside, stopping at the Lotus.
Claire wiped her eyes. “Sorry. I cry when I’m mad.”
“I do, too,” I said, offering an apologetic smile.
“He asked me to go to Anderson’s funeral.” Claire focused her eyes straight forward, too emotional to make eye contact.
“Are you going?”
“I couldn’t think of a good enough reason when he asked, but I shouldn’t. It’s wrong.”
“I’ll go with you.”
Claire’s ice blue eyes darted up in surprise. “You will?”
“Yeah,” I said. “When?”
“In an hour,” she said, attempting to mask her hopeful expression.
I looked at my watch. “Okay. Give me a minute to get dressed.”
Jared frowned as I slipped on a demure black dress. I sat down on the bed to pull up my black stockings, and he sat beside me.
“This is inappropriate on so many levels,” he said.
“Kind of like you sitting next to the reason your father lost his life on the night he died?” I said, slipping on my heels. Jared helped me with my coat, and then I poked a pearl earring into each of my ears. I turned, cupping his jaw with my hands. “Your point is justifiable, but it is her choice, Jared, just like it was yours. Trust Claire to make her own decision. She’s never let you down before.”
“She’s never wanted to tell before.”