“Thank you.”
I could hear the wind whipping against the phone, and she spoke loudly to compensate. I imagined her standing alone in a sea of sand, big sunglasses, and light camouflage clothes blending in with her platinum hair.
“Ryan doesn’t want you to feel guilty. He wants you to be happy. He’s just trying to get on with his life. He’s happy with his choice. Be happy with yours.”
“Of course I am. I just…everything feels wrong here. I feel lost.”
Claire laughed. “Try driving around with identical sand dunes as your guide…then you can talk to me about feeling lost. It’s a good thing I’m fluent in Farsi, or I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. How’s Jared?”
I peeked up at him, his blue-grey eyes comforted that his idea had worked. “He’s Jared. He’s good.”
“I need you to take care of him for me, okay? I’m kicking ass over here, so you can rest easy. Just concentrate on school, and work, and being happy, and I’ll get the cowboy home safe. Deal?”
Relief washed over me. “Deal. See you soon?”
“As soon as I can. Gotta go, they’re moving,” she said. The phone silenced, and I handed it to Jared.
“He’s okay,” I said.
Jared nodded. “Feel better?”
“A little. Thank you.”
Jared took a step toward me and enveloped me in his arms, touching his forehead to mine. “I would do anything, go anywhere, suffer anything to make you happy. You know that, right? That’s all I want.”
I lifted my chin to kiss his lips. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re exhausted. I’m going to run you a bath, and you can soak until your hands get all pruny, and I’ll have dinner waiting for you when you get out. Then we can turn in early.”
I buried my face into his warm chest. “Sounds perfect.”
Chapter Five
Landstuhl
The first day of Summer Break, I took the day off from Titan, and Jared and I went to our Oak Tree. I lazily traced the details of the carving of our names, and let the sweet, summer air sweep over my skin. Lunch was served on the blanket he had given me as a graduation gift—before I knew him—and we playfully wrestled and chased each other barefoot in the grass.
Jared was working overtime to prove to me that our lives could be as normal as anyone else. Even with the bad dreams keeping us apart at night, he had figured out how to get around them and made it seem that nothing was different.
The air smelled of fresh grass and sunshine, and coupled with Jared’s scent, it felt a little like Heaven. Summer soaked into my every pore, and I could see that Jared was enjoying my mood. He sat next to me, waiting for me to catch my breath from chasing him.
“Having a better day?” he asked, running his finger lightly across my wrist.
“Exponentially,” I said, digging my toes into the grass. “I feel like I did at Little Corn.”
“Speaking of that…have you given any more thought to returning to that perfect little chapel we came across there?” Jared said the words casually, but he was fidgeting with the hem of his jeans.
“Wedding date,” I said, nodding. I should have seen the topic coming. Jared never broached anything important lightly, and always insisted on the perfect back drop. “Does Claire know when she’s coming back?”
“No,” Jared said, frowning. The hem of his jeans seemed to be irritating him, but I knew it was the direction of our conversation.
“We can’t get married without Claire. I’m going to make her wear something hideous.”
“Already have your Bridesmaids picked out?” he said with a contrived smile.
“Beth, Kim and Claire. What about your groomsmen? Can’t exactly have Samuel and Eli stand in.”
“Sure I could. I don’t think they would do it, but I could ask.” I laughed, and his smile relaxed. “Bex, obviously. Maybe I could ask Ryan. It would help Claire.”
“Not funny,” I said, ripping out a handful of grass, and then throwing it at him.
He shrugged. “Nothing says I have to have as many as you.”
I had never considered that the small details of a wedding would be so difficult for him. He had siblings, and contacts within the system to make things easier, but no friends. Barely any family. His side of the church would be pitifully bare.
“Maybe I’ll just have Beth and Claire, and Bex can escort both of them,” I said, hoping to relieve him of part of what he perceived as a problem.
I had insisted for so long that our lives be as close to normal as a Hybrid and his Taleh could get, that Jared was bordering on obsession about giving that to me. I knew that if something were as important to him, I would be equally determined to make it happen, but I didn't want our wedding to be a source of disappointment; for either of us.