She didn’t ask about Jared’s whereabouts again. We stumbled over the small talk, and politely discussed the weather. Cynthia hadn’t mentioned my father since I returned home from the hospital. I wondered if she ever would. The residual circles under my eyes were a brief topic of conversation, and then I helped her clean the dinner dishes before saying goodbye.
“Dinner was uneventful?” Bex asked, holding the passenger door of the Beemer open.
My eyes narrowed at my former home. “She’s up to something. You’re sure she hasn’t called or talked to Jared?”
“Haven’t heard a word,” Bex shrugged.
At the loft, I found myself struggling to stay awake to witness Jared’s homecoming. Reality television kept my attention for a while, but I finally trudged up the stairs in defeat.
“Aw…but they’re going to get in the hot tub in a second. The girls get in a cat fight, its funny!”
“Wake me when he gets home,” I said.
“Aye, aye, El Capitan,” he responded.
“You know you’re not supposed to speak foreign languages to me,” I grumbled, falling into the bed with my clothes on. My voice wasn’t loud enough to travel to the first level, but Bex could hear, regardless.
“I wasn’t…never mind,” Bex said, too involved in the hot tub disco party to argue.
Just as I closed my eyes, they popped open again. The alarm clock on Jared’s side read nine-thirty.
“You okay, Nina?” Bex called up. “Bad dreams?”
“No,” I whispered. Just that minuscule bit of effort was all I could manage. I hadn’t realized I was so tired, and it was so much easier to fall asleep without the fear of screaming myself awake.
Ice was beneath me, and my bare toes wiggled against the smooth, shiny whiteness below. That was the only way I was aware it was dream—my feet were warm and comfortable. My father’s office window came into view above me. I was standing alone in the middle of Fleet Rink. Soon my naked feet were adorned with a pair of new ice skates, and Jack stood in the window, smiling down at me. A crowd of people, young and old, circled the space where I stood. Sporting matching red noses, their misty breath puffed out with each word or laugh.
I waved to him, and he waved back. Pushing forward, I could hear the blade of my skate scratching the surface of the ice. Looking up again, I noticed Jack was no longer smiling. Instead he bobbed in and out of visibility, pacing back and forth in his office, and then I saw Gabe.
They were arguing.
Oh no, I thought, feeling the tugging feeling again. No!
Back in the dusty, stale office, I landed on all fours again. Anger surged through me. My nights were just returning to normal. I wanted to sleep all night in Jared’s arms. I wanted him to see that things were getting better, that I was getting better.
“I’m not doing this again!” I yelled, storming Jack and Gabe.
They ignored me, repeating the same scripted dialogue from before.
“Stop!” I said. “I don’t want to do this anymore!”
“Are you sure you want to do this, Jack?” Gabe asked.
My mouth formed around each of Jack’s words. “Are you sure it’s her, Gabe?” He paused for Gabe’s answer, and then continued, “Then you know the answer.” I shook my head from side to side as I spoke along with him, copying him like a toddler, angry and snide.
A ferocious rage overtook me, and I grabbed the book from Jack’s hands.
Time stopped. Several times before, I had attempted to physically interrupt, and failed. Jack, Gabe, and the book were always very real, but when I tried to interfere, they were the consistency of a hologram. This time the book was in my hands.
Gabe’s head turned up in quick motion to face me, his eyes a solid black. “Ars Notoria,” he whispered in a voice not his own.
The change of events frightened me. I stumbled back, away from my father and his friend. They were frozen in time like everything else in the room. Even the moonlit dust motes were hanging motionless in the air, but I could hear the screeches of the demons as they approached.
The dimensions of the room stretched, and the wood groaned and creaked. As I worked to keep my feet beneath me, I gripped the book tighter in my hands. The possibility of taking it back with me crossed my mind. It was the only reason I would be able to take it from Gabe.
I looked to the large window and closed my eyes. “It’s just a dream,” I said softly, confident the fall would wake me up. Opening my eyes with the Naissance de Demoniac in my hands wouldn’t be the most impossible thing that had ever happened to me.